Day Jar Voo!
by RobDaZombie
Summary: Keitaro is having the day of his life... over and over again...
1. Just Another Day

**Day Jar Voo! **

**Day 01 - Just Another Day**

The sunlight peeping out of the curtain caused Keitaro to stir and groan. He had the greatest dream of his life; it involved Kitsune and Motoko, and they were dressed in bunny outfits, exposing generous helpings of thighs and cleavage. Keitaro sighed as he slowly got out of bed. He knew it was too good to be true.

Stripping off his pyjamas (which were an unfashionable brown colour) and replacing them with his usual attire (yellow shirt, green jumper, grey socks and what look like school trousers), Keitaro yawned as he looked at the calendar. Today was Friday the thirteenth, a day, according to legend, was supposed to be renown for infecting people with bad luck. Keitaro lolled forwards in disbelief. As if the poor lad needed it. With a felt tip pen, Keitaro marked off the thirteenth square with a tick.

After sliding the door open, Keitaro walked into the hallway… and unknowingly trod on a skateboard. Not just any plain ordinary skateboard, but an ultra deluxe high tech Su-made skateboard. Keitaro just so happened to flick on the turbo button with his big toe. He had never flown so fast in his life.

"WAAAAAAGGGHH!! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEE!!" He cried out, flapping his arms for all he was worth.

In the living room, everyone (Naru, Motoko, Shinobu, Kaolla and Kitsune) were all present and accounted for, with the exception of Haruka who was working in the tea shop (anything to get away from those crazy tenants). Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when Keitaro made one hell of an entrance. He was whizzing all over the place, screaming for dear life as exhaust fumes surrounded the room. Naturally this caused one gigantic commotion, and all the girls scattered in different directions. The only one enjoying all of this was Kaolla Su. She was having a great time.

The turbo thrusters in the skateboard had dispersed in a puff of black smoke, thus slowing the contraption down to a standstill. Keitaro gracefully landed on the wall with a splat. He peeled himself off and was in a twirling daze of confusion. Like a zombie, Keitaro grabbed hold of the nearest thing he could find… that being Naru's pink t-shirt. Naru's nylon thin pink t-shirt. With an unconscious yank he tore the material in two.

The tenants reacted in their usual way. Kitsune giggled, Kaolla laughed, Shinobu nearly fainted, Motoko had a look of disgust… and Naru… she was having kittens.

When Keitaro came to, he realised the horror shown on Naru's face. Only her tight fitting bra concealed those beautiful orbs. Nothing more.

"Waaaggggh! I'm so sorry Narusegawa-saaaaan!" he wailed.

POW.

Keitaro crashed through the roof and flew into the heart of the sun.

**-0-0-**

After that disastrous occurrence, Keitaro returned home and joined the tenants for breakfast. He rubbed his sore chin when everyone tucked into their food, lovingly prepared by Shinobu. Good old western styled bacon and eggs with fried bread. Keitaro looked at his plate curiously. He seemed to have a little more than everyone else, but he didn't dwell on the subject. He ate the food and savoured every mouthful of it.

"Mmm! This food is delicious, Shinobu-chan!" Keitaro said.

Shinobu smiled into her plate and blushed. "Th-thanks!"

Naru was lost in thought. Midway through chews, she was looking at a problem displayed on a piece of paper. It was an anagram; a ten letter conundrum jumbled up to test her intelligent mind. Normally she would solve these problems in a flash. This one got her stumped.

"Damn this is annoying!" she groaned in frustration, clutching her hands on her head.

"What's wrong, Narusegawa-san?" asked Keitaro.

"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads of tails of it!"

"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.

Sagging her shoulders in defeat, Naru handed the problem over to Motoko. Motoko narrowed her eyes at the puzzle, but surrendered in the end. When Motoko handed the problem to Kitsune, Kitsune said 'meh' and instantly gave it to Kaolla. Kaolla could make a rocket launcher out of a coke can, but her intellect failed when it came to anything not technological. She passed the problem over to Shinobu. The blunette sighed, knowing it was way too complicated for her as well.

"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.

Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed again when their fingers barely touched. "Sure, I'll give it a shot!" he said.

Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist (by the way she was wearing a fresh t-shirt, just in case most of you were thinking Naru likes to eat breakfast in a near topless state). "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve something I can't!"

Keitaro clenched his teeth. He wasn't that stupid, and he would prove it by solving this puzzle before Naru could. Of course, that was easier said than done. Just looking at the darn thing was enough to frazzle Keitaro's brain cells.

"Um, sorry! No chance from me I'm afraid!" Keitaro said, offering the puzzle back to Naru.

Naru snatched the puzzle away. "Figures," she grumbled.

Keitaro sighed.

**-0-0-**

After a good mornings breakfast, the tenants had their own schedule to be getting on with. Haruka, of course, was still in the tea shop (she must live there permanently), Shinobu, Motoko and Kaolla had school to attend to, and Naru and Keitaro had study leave, so they spent their time revising for the Toudai Entrance Exam. Kitsune planned to spend the rest of the day getting plastered in her room. A sound plan.

Before he would study however, Keitaro had some shopping chores to accomplish. He wanted to do this small task so he could at least get into Naru's good books. There was quite a lot on the list… but at least the weather was nice. Clear blue sky. Bright sun. It was enough to lift Keitaro into good spirits.

"Yo Keitaro! Long time no see!"

"Hey what's up man?"

Keitaro scratched his head. He looked at two guys that looked as dorky as himself.

"Um, do I know you two?" Keitaro asked.

"Uh, hello? Haitani and Shirai?!" Haitani answered.

Shirai added, "Yeah, we're like, only your long time best friends!"

Keitaro then rubbed the back of his neck and laughed. "Ha ha! Oh yeah! Now I remember!"

Haitani and Shirai's faces morphed into gloom mode. _"He's the worst,"_ they thought.

And so Keitaro completely forgot what he was doing and decided to venture inside the restaurant called 'Bowling for Beef', an irregular place that combined a fast food joint and a bowling alley together. For some reason it proved quite popular. After playing a few rounds (Keitaro managed to knock down three skittles, a record for him), the three guys sat around a table to order food and drink. Keitaro only had a cola, since he had eaten a short while ago. The other two ordered steak, probably because steak was the only thing on the menu. That and cola.

Haitani glanced at the bar, to which his eyes laid upon a beautiful busty woman wearing a French maiden outfit. She looked in her twenties and was very, very attractive. Her hair looked like long, silky honey, and it was tied up with a delicate pink ribbon.

"Damn, she is so fine!" Haitani said to himself.

"Way outta your league though." commented Shirai.

After one hour of nonsensical conversation and other stuff, Keitaro bid his friends goodbye. Then… he realised he had the shopping to do. Whoops! He should have done that ages ago!

**-0-0-**

"Where the hell were you?!" barked Naru, when Keitaro returned to Hinata-Sou, "I was starting to get-"

Naru paused for a second. No, she thought, she wasn't going to say the 'w' word.

"Sorry!" Keitaro apologised. His hands were full of shopping bags. "It's just like… well, you see…"

"Ah, forget it," Naru said, "come on, we got studying to be getting on with!"

And so Keitaro followed an impatient Narusegawa up to her room, where they sat cross legged by the low table.

Only the sound of scribbling pens could be heard. Actually… it was just Naru's pen. Keitaro spent most of the time looking dumbfounded and gormless. Keitaro always found the silence between him and Naru unsettling. He wanted to break the ice somehow.

"Um, Narusegawa-san, did you finish the-"

"Yes, I finished the anagram. It was 'apostrophe'." Naru answered. Her eyes were closed at the time.

"Oh, heh heh. I would have never got that." Keitaro laughed nervously.

"That's because you never concentrate." lectured Naru. "If you actually focused once in your life, you might have actually passed on your first try, instead of becoming a three year ronin."

Ouch.

Keitaro felt like saying 'oh yeah, well you failed it too' but Naru failed the exam once. Keitaro failed it three times. Not exactly an accomplishment to be proud of. Inside, Naru felt a little guilty. It was the truth, but she didn't had to be so blunt with her words.

Naru felt like an apology was in order. "Listen Keitaro, I'm-"

Keitaro unconsciously interrupted by saying, "Hey look at the time! It's nearly two and we haven't eaten lunch yet! I'll go and make us something!"

"Um… sure." Naru said.

Naru heard Keitaro slide the door open, his footsteps fading as he went into the kitchen. She placed the pen next to her text book and let out a tiny sigh.

**-0-0-**

The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou swung open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all bounced into the main room. Well, Kaolla did all the bouncing. The other, more reserved girls just sort of walked in. They all looked adorable in their school uniforms, though Motoko did have a look on her that suggested 'why on earth did they make these skirts so short'.

"Welcome home!" Keitaro greeted them with a bow.

"Good afternoon, diabolical pervert." Motoko greeted back.

Keitaro groaned a sigh. Motoko was never going to accept his acquaintance any time this century.

"Um, good afternoon, s-senpai!" Shinobu said. She blushed and hurried into her room.

Naru walked down the stairs and greeted the blur of Shinobu. Naru sighed when Kaolla gave Keitaro the biggest bear hug in the world. Motoko shook her head and walked away from the vicinity. Being near to a male was sure to give her leprosy.

"Come on Su-chan," Naru politely ordered, "step away from the manager please, before you squeeze him to death."

"Righto Naru-chan!"

Kaolla let go and Keitaro collapsed in a thankful heap.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro put the phone down and sighed.

"It looks like Haruka still has some things to do in the tea shop." he said to everyone.

The tenants had their own ways of reacting, but it was mostly overruled with a simple 'oh, okay'. Keitaro did wonder what his aunt was up to now and then. At most, he would only see her once or twice a week. Perhaps Haruka had a secret agenda? Perhaps at night she was a superhero solving crime? Keitaro shook his head. He couldn't imagine Haruka wearing a wonder woman outfit. Well he could, but that would be so wrong.

The sky darkened and the time was well past seven. Shinobu cooked up a lovely meal of chicken ramen with vegetables, and the others did not hesitate to dig in. Keitaro looked at his plate. Why did Shinobu always give him that little bit more? Well, he was kinda scrawny. Maybe Shinobu wanted to build him up. Maybe.

**-0-0-**

After dinner, Keitaro tried his best to clean the house head to toe. Considering the house was very big, cleaning it head to toe was a monstrous challenge. However, Keitaro was used to this by now, and besides, it was his role as a manager to do so, otherwise he would be toe punted into the sky by Naru. Or Motoko. Or Naru and Motoko.

It took much time and effort, but Keitaro, at last, managed to patch up that hole in the roof. You know, that hole he created after Naru punched him skywards. 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' were the final sounds of the hammer meeting the nail. The roof had been successfully restored, and Keitaro wiped a lot of sweat from his forehead. It was quite a task.

Unfortunately, just as Keitaro stood up, he tumbled over into a ball and rolled off the roof, lifting himself upwards like a bike meeting a ramp.

Sploosh!

He landed dead centre in the hot springs. How convenient the girls chose to bathe themselves at this time. All the naked girls surrounded him. Keitaro apologised in about nineteen different languages. All languages fell on deaf ears. Shinobu was the first to depart. She found a towel to cover herself before screaming to her bedroom. Kitsune didn't care much. The fox just stretched her arms and waited for the annihilation to commence. Kaolla launched a metallic fist from a rocket launcher, striking Keitaro clean in the head.

"SECRET TECHNIQUE: BOULDER CUTTING BLADE!!" Motoko cried. She withdrew her sword (from seemingly nowhere) and executed one of her stronger sword techniques. A large ki wave of death launched into Keitaro's chest, causing him to howl in agony.

Finally Naru launched the concluding uppercut to the chin, causing Keitaro to shoot off into the night sky.

"CAN'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF US, YOU FILTHY PERVERT?!?" Naru roared, shaking her fist at the twinkling star called Urashima.

Kitsune giggled to herself as she watched the angry emotions of Naru and Motoko unfold. "My, my… night after night the same thing happens… and still I never get tired of it!"

**-0-0-**

Keitaro spent the next three hours or so finding his bearings before walking back to Hinata-Sou. When he finally arrived, the house was silent, save for a few rogue crickets chirping away. He had just enough energy to enter his bedroom before collapsing in an instant.

"The same things happen to me everyday," Keitaro grumbled, his face mashed into the pillow, "it's like… it's like my life is a never ending loop…"

…

_Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina or any of its characters._

_Author: Hi, this is a new story I decided to work on. I know it's not that funny at the moment, but give it a couple of chapters and you'll grow to enjoy the insanity that follows…_


	2. Just Another Hey! Hang on!

**Day 02 - Just Another… Hey! Hang on!**

The sunlight peeping out of the curtain caused Keitaro to stir and groan. He had the greatest dream of his life; it involved Kitsune and Motoko, and they were dressed in bunny outfits, exposing generous helpings of thighs and cleavage. Keitaro sighed as he slowly got out of bed. Come to think of it, didn't he have that same dream before?

Stripping off his pyjamas and replacing them with his usual attire, Keitaro yawned as he looked at the calendar. Today was… Friday the thirteenth. No, that couldn't be right. Today was Saturday. Keitaro scratched his head. Maybe he forgot to tick off that Friday?

"_That's odd…" _he thought, and ticked off the two days instead.

After sliding the door open, Keitaro walked into the hallway. He trod on a high-tech skateboard and flew for miles.

"OH GOD!! NOT AGAIN!!" He cried out, flapping his arms for a second time.

In the living room, everyone was all present and accounted for, with the exception of Haruka who was working in the tea shop. Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when Keitaro made one hell of an entrance. He was zooming all over the place, screaming for dear life. This caused one gigantic commotion, and all the girls scattered in different directions.

The turbo thrusters in the skateboard had dispersed in a puff of black smoke, thus slowing the contraption down to a standstill. Keitaro gracefully landed on the wall with a splat. He peeled himself off and was in a twirling daze of confusion. Keitaro grabbed hold of the nearest thing he could find… that being Naru's pink t-shirt. With an unconscious yank he tore the material in two.

When Keitaro came to, he realised the horror shown on Naru's face. Only her tight fitting bra concealed those beautiful orbs.

"Waaaggggh! I'm so-"

He paused for thought.

"_Hang on a sec."_

But his mind was nullified when he got launched into the sun.

**-0-0-**

After the disaster, Keitaro returned home and joined the tenants for breakfast. He rubbed his sore chin when everyone tucked into their food, lovingly prepared by Shinobu. Good old western styled...

"Um, didn't we have bacon and eggs before?" Keitaro asked, scratching the top of his head.

Shinobu at once lifted her head up high and gasped. She didn't know how, but she offended Senpai! Oh the travesty!

Motoko gave the ronin a stern look. "What are you talking about, Urashima?"

"Uuum… we had m-miso soup and rice yesterday." stuttered Shinobu.

"Aaah oh… right, sorry! I guess I haven't woken up properly!" Keitaro apologised. _"I could have sworn we had miso soup on Thursday!"_

Everyone gave Keitaro a concerned glance before returning to their food.

Then…

"Damn this is annoying!" Naru groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong, Narusegawa-san?" asked Keitaro.

"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads of tails of it!"

"_Another puzzle?" _Keitaro thought.

"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.

In the end the puzzle travelled in a circle, with none of the girls getting the answer.

"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.

Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed when their fingers barely touched. "Um… sure okay." he said.

Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist. "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve something I can't!"

Keitaro looked at the puzzle with widened eyes. _"This is the same puzzle from yesterday!"_

Everyone looked at Keitaro's transformed expression, and their eyes widened as well. Had Keitaro achieved the impossible?! Each girl was in their own state of mind. See if you can guess who thought what.

"_He knows the answer?! Impossible!! This must be an illusion! Or a dream! Yes! Definitely a dream!"_

"_Urashima has the answer? But… he's a male!"_

"_Banana!"_

"_Heh, maybe he's smarter than he looks…"_

"_Come on Senpai! You can do it!"_

But… the numpty forgot what the answer was.

"Ah! Sorry, I thought I had the answer, but I guess not!" Keitaro said in defeat, offering the puzzle back to Naru. After retrieving the puzzle, Naru and Motoko relaxed back in their chairs.

"_Phew! I was starting to get worried!"_

"_Hmph! He was only seeking attention!" _

"_Banana!"_

"…_or not."_

"_At least he tried."_

**-0-0-**

After a good mornings breakfast, the tenants had their own schedule to be getting on with. Haruka, of course, was still in the tea shop. Shinobu, Motoko and Kaolla had school to attend to… hang on? School? On a Saturday? Keitaro had heard of Sunday School but never Saturday School. Maybe this was a weekend school… or something… yeah…

Kitsune planned to spend the rest of the day getting drunk in her room. No change there then.

Right this moment, the ronin and the angel of fists got into a little heated argument.

"But Narusegawa-san! I've already done the shopping!"

"No you haven't!"

"Yes I have! I did it yesterday!"

"Oh yeah? Well prove it!"

"I will!"

With a bit of fire in his belly, Keitaro marched over to the cupboard and swung it open with both hands. He stared inside in utmost surprise. Completely empty.

Naru closed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Satisfied now?"

Keitaro pointed at the emptiness. "But… but… _did all of it get eaten that quickly? I know Kaolla is a fast eater but… _uh… I guess I will do… the shopping… then."

When Keitaro left the dormitory, Naru opened one eye. _"What's gotten into him?" _she thought.

**-0-0-**

Outside…

"Yo Keitaro! Long time no see!"

"Hey what's up man?"

Keitaro looked at two guys that looked as dorky as himself. Haitani and Shirai.

"Oh, hey guys." he said.

"What do you mean 'hey guys'?!" Haitani argued, "We haven't seen each other for ages and all you say is 'hey guys'?!"

Shirai added, "What, are we not worthy of your presence anymore?"

Keitaro gave the two a curious look. "What are you talking about? We only met yesterday, remember?"

"No we didn't!" Haitani argued again, "We were at Comipa yesterday!"

"Yeah!" said Shirai.

Keitaro didn't know how to react. Unless the whole of yesterday was a dream, Keitaro _knew _he already saw Haitani and Shirai. What the hell was going on?

"Um… listen guys, I gotta go and do… shopping… and stuff. See you later, okay?" Keitaro decided to say, and left Haitani and Shirai in a slightly bewildered state.

**-0-0-**

"Hey Keitaro, you're back pretty early." stated Naru.

"Yeah, well… I figured we need to get studying as soon as possible." Keitaro replied, putting down the shopping.

Once they stored the shopping away, Keitaro followed Naru up to her room, where they sat cross legged by the low table.

Only the sound of scribbling pens could be heard. Actually… it was just Naru's pen. Keitaro spent most of the time looking dumbfounded and gormless. In fact, Keitaro was more dumbfounded and gormless than ever before. Keitaro always found the ambience awkward when he and Naru were in the same room together, but today felt somewhat… eerie.

"Um, Narusegawa-san, did you finish the-"

"Yes, I finished the anagram. It was 'apostrophe'." Naru answered. Her eyes were closed at the time.

Keitaro darted his eyes open. Apostrophe! "Ah! Uuum, well it was a tricky one."

"Yes it was."

Keitaro wilted his body through the silence. Keitaro was quite good at breaking the ice, but Naru was even better at reforming it.

After some time, Keitaro unconsciously interrupted by saying, "Hey look at the time! It's nearly two and we haven't eaten lunch yet! I'll go and make us something! _Weird. That's exactly what I said yesterday!"_

"Okay, thanks." replied Naru.

Naru heard Keitaro slide the door open, his footsteps fading as he went into the kitchen.

**-0-0-**

The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou swung open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all bounced into the main room. Well, Kaolla did all the bouncing. The other, more reserved girls just sort of walked in.

"Welcome home!" Keitaro greeted them with a bow.

"Good afternoon, diabolical pervert." Motoko greeted back.

"_Didn't she call me that yesterday?" _thought Keitaro.

Motoko gave the pervert a quick glance. _"Curious. Urashima usually reacts negatively to my put downs…"_

"Um, good afternoon, s-senpai!" Shinobu said. She blushed and hurried into her room.

Naru walked down the stairs and greeted the blur of Shinobu. Naru sighed when Kaolla gave Keitaro the biggest bear hug in the world. Motoko shook her head and walked away from the vicinity… giving Keitaro one last stare before going.

"Come on Su-chan," Naru politely ordered, "step away from the manager please, before you squeeze him to death."

"Righto Naru-chan!"

Kaolla let go and Keitaro collapsed in a thankful heap.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro put the phone down and sighed.

"It looks like Haruka still has some things to do in the tea shop." he said to everyone. _"She said the same thing to me yesterday! Like… exactly the same thing!"_

The tenants had their own ways of reacting, but it was mostly overruled with a simple 'oh, okay'.

The sky darkened and the time was well past seven. Shinobu cooked up a lovely meal of chicken ramen with vegetables, and the others did not hesitate to dig in. Keitaro looked at his plate. Chicken ramen. Again?

"Senpai? Are you okay?" Shinobu asked innocently.

How could Keitaro react sourly to Shinobu's tender loving concerning voice. "Uh, I'm fine Shinobu-chan! More than fine!"

"Oh, okay!"

**-0-0-**

After dinner, Keitaro tried his best to clean the house head to toe. As he looked at certain places, he flinched in confusion. He could have sworn the house was a lot cleaner, but it was just as filthy as it was yesterday! Then again, Kaolla did specialise in trashing Hinata-Sou on a daily basis. Even so…

It took much time and effort, but Keitaro, at last, managed to patch up that hole in the roof. 'Bang! Bang! Bang!' were the final sounds of the hammer meeting the nail. The roof had been successfully restored, and Keitaro wiped a lot of sweat from his forehead.

Unfortunately, just as Keitaro stood up, he tumbled over into a ball and rolled off the roof, lifting himself upwards like a bike meeting a ramp.

"_OH NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!"_

Sploosh!

He landed dead centre in the hot springs. All the girls surrounded him. Keitaro apologised in about twenty eight different languages. All languages fell on deaf ears. Shinobu left with a towel around her, and the others prepared their usual positions.

Keitaro winced as he felt the metal fist striking his head, thanks to Kaolla's rocket launcher. Weird that Kaolla used the same weapon on him. Normally she developed new ways of punishing the manager.

"SECRET TECHNIQUE: BOULDER CUTTING BLADE!!" Motoko cried. A large ki wave of death launched into Keitaro's chest. Even weirder. Motoko usually unleashes a different technique to him every day.

Naru launched the concluding uppercut to the chin, causing Keitaro to shoot off into the sky. Well… okay, that was normal for Naru, so Keitaro let that one slide.

"CAN'T YOU GET ENOUGH OF US, YOU FILTHY PERVERT?!?" Naru roared, shaking her fist at the twinkling star of Keitaro.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro didn't spend much time finding his bearings before walking back to Hinata-Sou. It was strange. He landed in the exact same location before. That _never _happened to Keitaro. Not once. When he finally arrived, the house was silent, save for a few rogue crickets chirping away. He had just enough energy to enter his bedroom before collapsing in an instant.

Keitaro mashed his face in the pillow. _"Man, what a strange day… it's like everyone was saying the same stuff…"_

…

_Author: The build up is slow, but have patience! See you next time!_


	3. The Power to do Anything!

**Day 03 - The Power to do Anything?!**

Keitaro groaned as he got out of bed. _"The same dream again? Do I have a bunny fetish or something?"_

Stripping off his pyjamas and replacing them with his usual attire, Keitaro yawned as he looked at the calendar.

"_Okay, this isn't funny anymore… I bet Kaolla's been playing with the invisible ink." _he thought. He didn't bother ticking off the squares this time.

After sliding the door open, Keitaro walked into the hallway. He trod on the skateboard again.

"OH CRAAAP!!" He cried out.

In the living room, everyone was all present with the exception of Haruka. Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when Keitaro repeated his dynamic entrance, causing all the girls to scatter in different directions.

This time, Keitaro tried steering the skateboard instead of just closing his eyes in a blind panic. He tried swerving it from side to side. Now, instead of landing in the wall, Keitaro turned sharply to the right. He blasted straight through the main door and, with a gigantic splash, fell face first into the hot springs.

There was no sound coming from Keitaro.

The girls all looked at each other before rushing outside.

"OMIGOSH! KEITARO! DON'T DROWN!!" screamed Naru.

Without a moment to lose, Naru swan dived into the hot springs. She later resurfaced with a motionless Keitaro. She delicately laid the ronin on the ground. The girls looked at him. He wasn't breathing.

"_CPR!" _thought Naru. It was the only way.

The girls watched with surprised faces (amplify the word 'surprised' by a hundred times if your name is Shinobu, or a thousand for Motoko) when Naru pinched Keitaro's nose. She was centimetres away from giving him the kiss of life… when suddenly Keitaro woke up by spurting water all over her face. A major anticlimax.

Keitaro looked at Naru with a nervous laugh. She was on top of him and her t-shirt was drenched and see through. Heaven, Keitaro thought. Absolute heaven.

Naru's face now resembled the prince of darkness on steroids.

The girls took many weary steps back…

**-0-0-**

After Naru's mega punch, Keitaro returned home and joined the tenants for breakfast. He rubbed his sore chin when everyone tucked into their food. Eggs and bacon. Again. Even weirder for Keitaro was that everyone still appeared un-phased. Hadn't nobody even noticed?

"_Okay… so I take it we're having eggs and bacon every morning. Okay. No problem. No problem at all."_

"Damn this is annoying!" Naru groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong, Narusegawa-san?" asked Keitaro. _"Hang on…"_

"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads of tails of it!"

"_Could this be…?"_

"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.

In the end the puzzle travelled in a circle, with none of the girls getting the answer.

"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.

Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed when their fingers barely touched. "Uh… yeah…" he said.

Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist. "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve…"

"Apostrophe!" Keitaro cried in alarm.

All cutlery dropped to their plates. They all looked at Keitaro with shock, horror and amazement. Even the bird outside was awestruck, as it collided face first into a clear window.

"_Did Keitaro just…?"_

"_Did Urashima just…?"_

"_Banana!"_

"_Holy cow!"_

"_Senpai did it?!"_

"Gimme that!" Naru shouted, snatching the puzzle away from his limp hands.

Naru looked at the anagram again. And again. And again!

"He's right!" she said with astonishment.

"Ah right! Way to go Keitaro!" Kitsune cheered (any excuse to crack open another bottle of sake).

Shinobu said nothing, though her eyes spoke volumes. They were replaced by two glowing golden stars of admiration. Motoko had to leave to her room, since she couldn't think of anything appropriate to say. She was probably the most confused of them all.

Before the situation could get any more… odd, Keitaro said, "Um listen, I've got some errands to do outside. Please excuse me!"

He bowed and rushed outside, leaving the girls to their own emotions.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro was at the Bowling for Beef restaurant with his friends, Haitani and Shirai. He watched the two as they chewed into their steak meals. Then he took a good long look at his cola drink, the fizzy sparks escaping from his glass.

"Damn, she is so fine!" Haitani said to himself, his eyes staring at the busty maiden behind the bar.

"Way outta your league though." commented Shirai.

All Keitaro did was take in silent breaths of air. They were saying the same things as before, and they didn't seem to know about it. Was it a dream? Or was it something completely different? Perhaps everyone is pulling a prank on Keitaro? If the latter, then it was one hell of a prank…

Haitani nearly finished his meal when he looked at Keitaro. The lanky friend wondered why he was acting so quiet and emo-like.

"Hey, Keitaro, are you alright?" Haitani asked seriously, "You haven't touched your cola."

Keitaro took one deep breath, and then replied with, "Say, guys, do you mind if I ask you a… weird question?"

Shirai shrugged. "Go ahead."

Another deep breath.

"What would you do… if… if you realised you were living in a time loop… like… for instance… tomorrow doesn't exist… and you go through the same day, everyday?"

Incredibly, Haitani and Shirai understood every word Keitaro said.

Haitani stroked his chin. "You mean, no matter what happens today, tomorrow would be exactly the same as, well, today?"

Keitaro nodded.

Haitani's eyes glanced over to Shirai. Shirai's eyes glanced over to Haitani. They both smirked at the same time.

"That… would be so awesome!" they answered together.

Keitaro raised an eyebrow. "It would?"

"Yeah!" replied Haitani. He seemed to be really excited. "Think of all the possibilities! I mean, you could commit all sorts of crime, and tomorrow, it would be like nothing had ever happened!"

Keitaro put this into perspective. "So what you're saying is… if I somehow got stuck in this time loop… which I haven't… then I could do… anything I want?!"

The duo nodded… and the two of them turned into fantasy mode. They had their eyes rolled atop their eyelids, and their mouths were drooling.

"_Heh heh," _thought Haitani, _"I could touch boobies and get away with it!"_

"_Heh heh," _thought Shirai, _"Each day I could order a different takeaway, so I could find out which one is the tastiest!"_

After finishing his drink, Keitaro rose from his seat. "Listen guys, I gotta go. See you around, 'kay?"

His friends did not reply, for they were still in their dream modes…

**-0-0-**

When Keitaro returned home with shopping, Keitaro and Naru then did their usual study routine. Keitaro wondered where Shinobu, Motoko and Kaolla disappeared to. Surely they didn't go to school again? Either they go to school every day of the week… or… wait! School on a Sunday? That is just plain barmy.

"Hey Narusegawa-san?" Keitaro asked.

Naru lifted her head up slightly to look at him. "Hmm? What is it?"

_Was _Keitaro caught in a time loop? If so, what Haitani said may well be true. He could say _anything_, and tomorrow, Naru would be none the wiser. But what to say? Keitaro had to think of something, because Naru was still staring at him, with growing curiosity.

"Why is your hair so… light browny?"

What a thing to say.

"Excuse me?"

"Ah, never mind! Forget I said that!" Keitaro backtracked, waving his arms with an eyesmile.

"Um, sure. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay thanks!"

Silence once again. Naru went back to writing some more equations on her notepad.

"Hey Narusegawa-san?"

Naru didn't bother to look at him this time, apparent that she grew a little frustrated. "What is it now?"

"You know Haitani and Shirai?"

"Your perverted friends?"

"Yeah, my… perverted friends. Well…"

He cleared his throat. God, he couldn't believe the next bunch of words he was going to say.

"…if you… you… (ahem) if you were forced to have sex with one of them, who would you choose?"

The ink in Naru's pen made a huge diagonal line over her questions. She looked at Keitaro like he was a cross between a mutant and a giant robot. "Ah! Wh-what?!"

"I said if you were forced to have…"

"I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID!" Naru shouted. "I just… you… and you… saying… that…"

Keitaro's stomach was in multiple knots, but managed to untie them all as he continued talking. "Well?"

As for Naru, her face was redder than a tomato with sunburn. "Oh sheesh I don't know…"

A two second pause.

"Look, if I answer this question, will you promise me not to talk for the next three hours?!"

"Uh, okay. I promise."

"I'd… choose Haitani, okay?"

Keitaro asked, "Why Haitani?"

"I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE HIS FACE LOOKS SIMILAR TO YOURS, ALL RIGHT?!?!"

"…"

"…"

Naru felt all the wind pass out of her body. She let out the most unholy gasp ever heard to mankind. The knots in Keitaro's stomach came back with reinforcements.

Before the situation grew even more embarrassing, Naru gave Keitaro a giant super punch, and he flew faster than a bullet infused with lightning.

**-0-0-**

The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou were open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all entered the main room.

"W-Welcome home!" Keitaro greeted them with a bow, still shaken to what Naru had said to him. The fist to the face didn't help matters either.

Motoko greeted him back. "Good afternoon…"

"…diabolical pervert?" Keitaro interrupted.

Motoko widened her eyes. "Huh?!"

"You were going to call me diabolical pervert, weren't you?" said Keitaro.

"NO I WASN'T!" spat Motoko, who then marched fortissimo to her room.

Kaolla and Shinobu looked at Keitaro and tilted their heads, wondering what caused Keitaro to say something like that. Keitaro just rubbed the back of his neck and laughed.

Normally, Naru would have come downstairs to greet the younger girls, but she was way too preoccupied with the actions that took place a few hours ago. In short, she was still freaked out, and rightfully so.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro put the phone down and sighed.

"Aunt Haruka still has some things to do in the tea shop." he said to everyone.

The tenants had their own ways of reacting, but it was mostly overruled with a simple 'oh, okay'.

The sky darkened and the time was well past seven. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was for dinner.

"Naru? Are you okay?" Shinobu asked innocently.

"I'm fine thanks." Naru muffled into her food.

Keitaro stole a short glance at Naru. He felt like he done enough to her for one day…

**-0-0-**

After dinner, Keitaro tried his best to clean the house head to toe, though he didn't know why, since the filth would probably just regenerate tomorrow. Well, at least there was no hole in the roof to sort out… though he did have to fix the broken window, the one which he found himself being smashed through by a punch during the midday.

He knocked on Naru's door.

"What do you want?!" Naru shouted.

"Um, I need to fix the window." Keitaro replied lamely.

"Forget it! I already covered it with cardboard!"

"Oh… will that be sturdy enough?"

"Yes! It will be sturdy enough! Now go away!"

"Okay…"

Sighing in defeat, Keitaro lolled forward and walked to his bedroom. It was only just gone eight, but Keitaro helped kill the time by reading some comic books.

He absentmindedly thought of what Haitani said to him, his words echoing around the room.

"_Think of all the possibilities! I mean, you could commit all sorts of crime, and tomorrow, it would be like nothing had ever happened!"_

An hour later and Keitaro put away the comic to get ready for bed. His thoughts turned into a dull whisper. He looked at the ceiling and contemplated this possible newfound madness.

"The power to do anything…"

Maybe it _was _a time loop… or maybe… it _was _justa very intelligent prank. There was only one way to find out.

Keitaro removed the top half of his pyjamas, and hid them underneath the mattress…

…

_Author: Thank you for your patience thus far. The next chapter will (hopefully) have you in hysterics._


	4. Out of Control!

**Day 04 - OUT OF CONTROL!!**

Keitaro woke up and instinctively felt the buttoned cloth around his skin. He had the same dream last night. His head throbbed like crazy. The realisation of knowing everyday will be exactly the same, with no hope of alteration. The girls would retain the same emotions, the same actions, no matter what Keitaro would do.

Haitani was wrong. This wasn't fun at all. Going through the same old day would be an uneventful, dreary experience.

Wouldn't it?

Keitaro remained in his pyjamas as he walked into the hallway. Suddenly his left foot froze in mid-step. He noticed the skateboard. Sensibly, his foot took a different course of action, ignoring the mechanical contraption completely.

In the living room, everyone was all present and accounted for. Everyone was just getting ready for breakfast, when they noticed Keitaro walking over to join them. He wasn't his usual, cheery old self, and unlike yesterday, he hadn't changed into his regular clothes. Keitaro silently joined them for the first meal of the day.

"Hey hon, you alright?" asked Kitsune, who performed a record breaking feat (she opened an eye), "You look like dog crap."

"I'm fine thanks," Keitaro replied, without a hint of enthusiasm, "As a matter of fact, I'm totally wicked."

"Uuuum, okay…"

Kitsune left it at that, and the others didn't know how to react from Keitaro's unusual answer.

Keitaro had his scruffy hair overshadowing his eyes. He sagged his shoulders when he looked at the breakfast.

"_The power to do anything…"_

And then, predictably, Naru said…

"Damn this is annoying!"

Keitaro said nothing yet.

"What's wrong Naru-senpai?" asked Motoko.

"It's this stupid puzzle. I can't make heads of tails of it." muttered Keitaro.

"_The power to say anything…"_

"It's this… this…"

And then Naru stopped talking. Did Keitaro just read her mind?!

They all looked at Keitaro with utmost curiosity, but Keitaro ignored them and 'happily' tucked into his bacon and eggs.

"Perhaps I can help." muttered Keitaro.

"Perhaps I can-"

Motoko gasped slightly and they stared at Keitaro again.

Anyway, despite the weirdness of Keitaro, the puzzle travelled in a circle, with none of the girls getting the answer.

"Um, want to have a go, Senpai." muttered Keitaro.

"Um, want to have a-"

Shinobu placed a hand over her mouth. _"Did S-Senpai just look into my thoughts?!"_

Keitaro accepted the puzzle without displaying a single shred of emotion. He took one glance at it.

"It's apostrophe."

All cutlery dropped to their plates. They all looked at Keitaro with shock, horror and amazement. Even the bird outside was awestruck, as it collided face first into a clear window.

Naru gently took the puzzle away from Keitaro.

"He's right!" she said with astonishment.

"Well duh." Keitaro replied.

But again, they didn't know how to react. Keitaro should have been over the moon in solving something even Naru had trouble with… but they couldn't think of anything to say. It was as though Keitaro was replaced with his unknown twin, and his unknown twin had developed a serious case of emo-itus.

Keitaro finished his food and rose from his seat. "I'm going to do the shopping." he said.

The girls all looked at each other.

"Um, okay." Naru said. "Have… a safe trip."

They watched Keitaro walk outside.

An unsettling silence followed.

Then Keitaro walked back inside again.

"Forgot to get changed." he stated, going upstairs to change clothes.

**-0-0-**

When outside, Keitaro made sure to avoid Haitani and Shirai. After all, he knew exactly where they were going to walk, so all he had to do was make sure he was out of their sight. With an extremely bored look on his face, Keitaro did the shopping like he said.

"_I need to use the toilet." _he thought.

There was an outside toilet around somewhere, though it would take three minutes to get there. Any normal man could hold it in for that duration, and so could Keitaro...but… you know what? Why _should _he walk all that way just to go to the toilet? Keitaro walked for a bit, and his eyes feasted upon a rather nice looking sports car. So he casually walked over to the car, pulled down his trousers and pants… and started to take a leak on one of the tyres. Bare in mind it was fairly populated outside.

A young boy and his mother was walking in Keitaro's direction.

"Hey look mummy!" the boy said in excitement, pointing at Keitaro, "There's water coming out of that man!"

The woman turned red with embarrassment and ran passed the weirdo, dragging her child along with her. As Keitaro continued taking a leak, a middle-aged man stopped in horror. He was dressed in a suit and spoke with a higher class accent.

"I say! What the devil do you think you're doing?!" the man said to Keitaro.

Keitaro didn't turn around to address him. "I'm taking a piss." he replied.

"THIS IS _MY _CAR!!" the man shouted.

"It's a nice car." Keitaro said, nodding to himself.

"Well, thank you. It's an S-reg… ah THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!!"

Then Keitaro did something truly unforgivable. He turned to the right and continued urinating. On the man's shoes.

"GOOD HEAVENS!!" the man shouted, clearly angry beyond belief.

"Your shoes needed a polish." Keitaro stated.

Once Keitaro finished, he casually pulled his pants and trousers up, picked up the shopping, and made his way home… whilst the man was still completely and utterly bewildered out of his skull.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro returned with the shopping. Of course Naru was there and she helped him put it all away. Kitsune was around too, but she was already wasted. When that little task was finished, Keitaro followed Naru to her room to study.

"_I hope he's alright." _thought Naru as she scribbled away with her pen.

After an awkward bout of silence, the phone downstairs started to ring. Since Keitaro made absolutely no reaction…

"Um, I'll get it!" said Naru, who then hurriedly went downstairs to the living room.

Naru picked up the phone.

"Hinata Residence." she spoke in a polite manner.

There was a two second pause… until Naru heard an automated message… from the police?

"From the Tokyo Police District… this is a message of caution and urgency. There has been a disturbance involving a man who was seen urinating at a car in public. This man is believed to be in his early twenties. He was wearing a green jumper, a black pair of trousers and rectangular shaped glasses. If anyone is familiar with this description, then please immediately call us…"

Naru's eyes went wide as she turned pale. She slowly put the phone down. _"No, that couldn't be Keitaro. He wouldn't touch a butterfly!"_

Keitaro looked uninterestingly at Naru when she entered her room. "Who was it?" he asked.

Naru slowly sat next to him. "Oh… just a sales call."

"Oh."

They continued their studying. After every few minutes, Naru would catch a wary glimpse at her ronin companion. No way Keitaro would be capable of such an act. No way.

**-0-0-**

The time was now a few minutes to five. The main doors of Hinata-Sou swung open, and Kaolla, Motoko and Shinobu all arrived at the main room. Keitaro wasn't there to greet them this time. He was in his room. Thinking about… things.

"Welcome home!" Naru greeted the three.

Shinobu felt a little downcast when Senpai wasn't around to greet her. Even though Motoko would deny it, she too wondered why Keitaro wasn't here, albeit very briefly. Kaolla was her usual jumpy self, and instead settled for hugging Naru half to death.

Motoko sighed. "Su-chan, can you kindly remove yourself from Naru-senpai please?"

"Righto!" said Kaolla, letting go.

Naru collapsed in a thankful heap.

**-0-0-**

After talking to Haruka over the phone, Keitaro stated, as usual, that his aunt couldn't make it tonight. When he joined everyone for dinner, he didn't say much. A few words here and there, but nothing radical.

Time passed by… and after eating the food, all the girls decided to relax in the hot springs.

Keitaro however, wasn't doing anything besides sitting on his bed. His hair overshadowed his eyes. It was so quiet he could hear the clock in the living room. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock…

Tick…

Below his concealed eyes, a smile emerged from his lips. A sinister smile. A smile reserved for demons and warlocks. A smile that truly reeked of evil intentions.

Tock…

Using the bed as a stepping stall, Keitaro peeped through the hole separating his and Naru's room. He climbed into her room. He approached Naru's wardrobe… and swung it open with both hands…

**-0-0-**

Naru sighed as she looked at the darkening sky. Even the calmness of the hot springs failed to soothe her emotions. "Um, guys? Does Keitaro seem… different to you?"

Her concern swiftly received everyone's attention.

Kitsune smirked. "Hmm? Is my cute little friend worried about him?"

"I'm not worried!" Naru said aloud. "I just… I dunno but I'm not worried!"

Kaolla placed a finger on her lips. "Maybe he's going through puberty?"

"He's twenty!" Naru reminded.

Shinobu fidgeted with her index fingers as she struggled to say something. "Normally, he… he greets us when we return from school… but today he wasn't here and… um…"

Motoko backed away from this debate. Keitaro. Men. Puberty. Those were three subjects she shouldn't have to contend with.

Kitsune placed her hands behind her head and relaxed as she floated backwards.

"Meh! I wouldn't worry about it!" she said, trying not to worry herself. "He's probably just having an off-day. You know, woke up the wrong side of bed, that sort of thing!"

Naru looked down at the rippling waters. "I hope so." she whispered.

"Anyway! Enough with the long faces! I came here to chill out, not mope around!" Kitsune concluded.

The main door of Hinata-Sou slid open very slowly.

There was the sound of footsteps, and then… they stopped. Motoko's senses kicked in. The pervert was here. However, instead of drawing her sword… the kendo woman stopped dead in her tracks.

"Motoko? What's wrong?" asked Naru.

Motoko said nothing. Her eyes were wide and her face was completely frozen.

One by one, the girls looked in the direction Motoko was facing. Naru, Kitsune and Shinobu were the next to stare in absolute horror. It was a scene so unbelievable, Kitsune had to open _both _of her eyes. Even Kaolla tilted her head in confusion.

Keitaro was staring at the girls with a fixed smile. He was wearing a yellow jumper and a red skirt… _exactly _what Naru wears on a blustery day. He was wearing Naru's clothes… like he was the soul owner of them.

And… if the girls thought that was alarming…

"YABA-DABA-DOOOOO!!!"

…Keitaro ran like a crazy thing possessed… and dive-bombed into the hot springs, making a gigantic splash on contact.

Try as they might, the girls could not analyse this demented, twisted situation. Usually, Keitaro would end up in the hot springs by cause of an accident, say, tumbling off the roof, or somebody pushing him in, or him tripping over something. Nothing like that happened. Nothing like that happened at all. He just jumped off by his own accord.

Naru remained frozen in horror. Wearing her now soaked clothes, Keitaro stared at Naru with a twisted grin. The distance between them was a mere inch. He lifted his arms up high, fingers wiggling with anticipation. Then… he brought his hands down, and with them… groped Naru's breasts!!

Okay, calm down, thought Kitsune. There _had _to be some kind of logical explanation for this.

"HONK! HONK!" Keitaro shouted, squeezing her breasts with each honking sound he made. Naru's lips trembled. She was in dire shock.

No. There was no logical explanation. None whatsoever.

As for Motoko, she looked like she was going to throw up.

"_This is… unacceptable!! Inexcusable!! Repulsive!! Vile!! Disgusting!!" _Motoko thought, but even she didn't know how to react. The mere sight of a nipple should cause Keitaro to run away like a frightened bunny. What venomous soul possessed him to do such a thing?!

With extremely wide eyes, Shinobu covered her mouth and was full of tears. "OH… OH MY GOSH! SENPAI… SENPAI IS A SERIAL PERVERT!!!"

"Hey! I love cereal!" exclaimed Kaolla, completely unaffected by Keitaro's ungodly change of heart.

"NOT THAT KIND OF CEREAL!!" screamed Shinobu. Dragging Kaolla by the arm, Shinobu ran inside with her to call the police.

Kitsune and Motoko, at last, found the strength to wade themselves over to where Naru was.

"KEITARO!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" shouted Kitsune.

At last, Keitaro stopped groping Naru's breasts.

Because now… his hands had _bigger _things to play around with.

Kitsune moaned as fingers squeezed into her mountains of flesh. _"Oooooh!! This feels so good!! NO! WHAT AM I THINKING?! THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!!"_

Motoko still found it perplexing to string two words together.

"Ur… Ura… U-U-URASHIMA!! Unhand her at wha… WaaaAAAaaggGGHH!"

Keitaro did as he was told, but then stared at the kendo woman, grinning maliciously. Victim number three. Motoko Aoyama.

Motoko flayed her arms uncontrollably as Keitaro did what he thought would never do in eight billion years.

Naru was still in shock. She still hadn't moved from that spot.

"TICKLE! TICKLE! TICKLE!" Keitaro teased, tickling Motoko's… things.

Motoko cried with insanity. "WAHA HAHA! STOP IT AHAHA! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU AHAHAA!"

Then Keitaro stopped. Motoko, Naru and Kitsune were all standing in a line. He took one deep breath… and was now pressing each breast like buttons on a computer!

"BEEP! BOOP! BOOP! BEEP!" beeped Keitaro, completely obliterating what was left of his sanity.

From out of nowhere, a police helicopter descended from the sky, landing just nearby the hot springs. Policemen rushed to the scene of the crime. Some policemen had bleeding noses after witnessing such a blue movie spectacle. Keitaro tried to escape but was overpowered with extreme brutality. Upon capture, the policemen beat him half to death before taking him away.

Naru… was _still _in shock… and from the looks of things, wasn't going to recover anytime this decade.

…

…

…

The hours passed by…

…

…

…

"Uuuugggh… where am I…?" Keitaro groaned.

He woke up to find himself wearing a straight jacket. He was surrounded by a padded cell, never to see the light of day.


	5. Like Living Inside a Game Book

**Day 05 - Like Living Inside a Game Book**

Keitaro shot out of bed, flustered and dripping with beads of sweat. By some miraculous, heavenly act of power, Keitaro returned to Hinata-Sou, untied and unharmed. The feeling was… indescribable. Certainly beyond anything he had ever experienced. He slowly looked at his trembling hands, the same hands that, not so long ago, were touching things that never should have been touched. Ever.

His initial instinct was to rush downstairs to the living room and apologise profusely to everyone. He would bow so lowly, his own nose would be pressed onto the floor… but that thought in his brain stopped, and was replaced by a thunderous beating from his heart. Fear, excitement and insanity completely overwhelmed him. He realised the girls would be back to normal, without any knowledge that three of them were heinously violated in the chest department.

He recollected what he did last night. He literally exploded right in front of their bewildered eyes. The look on Shinobu's face before she alerted the police. Motoko and Kitsune. Oh my goodness, how they reacted!

And Naru. Naru Narusegawa. The look on her face was absolutely _priceless_. Her expression was the equivalent of finding out someone had slaughtered her entire family tree. She just stood there, half submerged in water, watching Keitaro squeeze her puppies, petrified out of her skull.

Keitaro… had the power of time loop syndrome. This power changed him. Made him do things even a psychotic madman would think twice about. Truly an unorthodox, yet incredible gift to behold… and only he, Keitaro Urashima, had this gift.

He pondered upon this unusual predicament. He felt like he was living inside a fantasy game book, with many choices and thousands of pages. His purpose, no, _quest _was to discover the outcome of each choice he made.

He heard a light tap on his door.

"Um, Senpai, breakfast is ready!" Shinobu called out softly.

Keitaro pondered for a moment. What answer would he choose?

"_Okay, thanks Shinobu-chan!" "Yahoo! That's awesome!" "We should get married some day." "Can I touch you?" "I like tomatoes."_

"I like tomatoes."

Shinobu, still behind Keitaro's door, felt confused. "Eh… ah… oh…okay?"

Keitaro listened to Shinobu scamper back to the living room. _"Why did I say that?"_

**-0-0-**

As he joined the tenants for breakfast, Keitaro looked at his plate. In addition to his regular bacon and eggs, he now had a few sliced tomatoes on the side. Keitaro realised to himself that even three simple words could make a surprising alteration to the day. He glanced over to Shinobu's direction, noting Shinobu was watching him and his plate. Shinobu quietly gasped and averted her eyes back to her food.

"This food is really nice, Shinobu-chan!" Keitaro thanked.

"Shinobu smiled into her plated and blushed. "Th-thanks!"

Keitaro then mentally counted from three backwards. _"Three… two… one…"_

"Damn this is annoying!" Naru groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong." sighed Keitaro.

"It's this… this stupid puzzle! I can't make heads or tails of it!"

"Perhaps I can help?" asked Motoko.

The puzzle travelled in its usual circle.

"Um, want to have a go, Senpai?" Shinobu asked, giving the problem to Keitaro.

Keitaro accepted it, and Shinobu blushed again when their fingers barely touched. "Let's have a look."

Naru huffed and put her arms around her waist "Hmph! As if Captain Moron can solve something I can't!"

"Hey! That's not a very nice thing to say!" Keitaro protested.

Two seconds of immediate silence followed. Naru, nor the others did not know how to reply. Did Keitaro just stick up for himself?

Motoko politely cleared her throat, looked at her plate and closed her eyes. "Though it is true Urashima. You are not exactly the sharpest man on the planet."

Keitaro decided to ignore Motoko for the time being, and his eyes remained focused on Naru. Naru felt a little on the edge. She never expected Keitaro to take her words so seriously.

"Tell you what, if I can solve this anagram in under ten seconds, then you have to do the shopping Naru!"

Naru widened her eyes. She didn't mind doing the shopping, not in the least, but it was the confidence shown in Keitaro's voice that surprised her. Surprised everyone in fact.

"And if you lose?" asked Motoko.

Keitaro thought about this for a moment… before replying with, "If I lose then I will never bother Naru for one month! That includes her helping me out with my studying!"

Naru looked away and huffed. _"Uh… wha…? _Uh… alright fine! See if I care!"

Keitaro pretended to study the anagram. After four seconds, his eyes lit up.

"I got it! It's apostrophe!"

The sound of shocked silence made Keitaro feel great, even though it already happened twice.

Naru cut through the silence. "Eh…? Ah, gimme that… …omigosh! He's… he's right!"

"Oh! Nice job Keitaro!" Kitsune grinned.

Kaolla cheered, though she didn't quite understand the situation. She probably just cheered because the atmosphere had changed into a more exciting one. Shinobu looked at Keitaro with starry eyes again.

Before Naru had a chance to retaliate, Keitaro mockingly stretched his arms and said, "Well, aaah, looks like you'll be doing the shopping Naru!"

Naru tried to reform her defences by crossing her arms. "Alright! Alright! I'll do the shopping! Geez, you make it sound like I never get out of the house!"

"Well, I do wonder sometimes." replied Keitaro.

Naru became slightly annoyed from his words. "Eh?! What do you mean, 'you wonder sometimes'?"

Keitaro shrugged and said, "Well… it's just that you're always locked away in your room."

"Am not!"

"Well I think you are!" and then Keitaro changed his voice to a more robotic tone, "Hel-lo. My. Name. Is. Na-ru. All. I. Ev-er. Do. Is. Lock. My-self. In. A. Room. To. Stud-y."

Kitsune quickly covered her mouth to stop herself laughing out loud. She knew how Naru was a study-bot when it came to examinations. Kaolla held herself and giggled at the strange voice Keitaro developed.

"Wha..?! I ah…"

Naru looked around the table for support. She looked at Kitsune. The fox was wiping away a tear. Some best friend she turned out to be. Naru then looked at Kaolla. The genius was laughing even louder now. Naru then looked at Shinobu. The blunette felt embarrassed, but at the same time she made a few muffled giggles as well. Naru lastly looked at Motoko. Disciplined, loyal, faithful Motoko.

"Meep!" Motoko squeaked, making a sound similar to a mouse. She quickly covered her mouth afterwards.

Keitaro could not believe the attempted giggle coming out of Motoko.

Naru turned red and started to vibrate. Knowing her friend way better than everyone else, Kitsune instinctively covered her ears.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT A STUPID LOSER THREE YEAR RONIN!" she bawled out, and ran immediately to her room.

The laughter quickly stopped and everyone did feel a little guilty afterwards.

**-0-0-**

When Kaolla, Shinobu and Motoko all left for school, Naru went outside to do the shopping, leaving Kitsune and Keitaro inside Hinata-Sou. Both of them were in their respective rooms, and of course, Kitsune was completely drunk.

After leaving his room, Keitaro slowly opened Kitsune's door by half an inch before peeping through. Already the fox had boozed herself up to the state of near unconsciousness. She looked like a lifeless rag doll as she rested lopsidedly by her bed.

"_This is gonna be sweet!" _Keitaro thought, rubbing his hands together and grinning wickedly.

He withdraw a bottle of ketchup and started to unscrew the lid…

**-0-0-**

"_Hmph! That idiot has some nerve insulting me like that!" _Naru thought with rage.

Carrying three bags of shopping, Naru stomped up the stairs and returned to Hinata-Sou, completely unaware that Keitaro was also outside, and was crouching behind some exotic vegetation by the hot springs.

"_Come on Naru… just walk a little closer…"_

He could hear her footsteps getting louder.

Louder still…

…and then…

"**BOO!!"**

Keitaro jumped out right in front of Naru and shouted at the top of his voice. Naru screamed in the highest pitched sound imaginable. Shopping was launched everywhere and Naru tumbled backwards into the hot springs with a calamitous splash. After a hard mornings work, she did not exactly appreciate the greeting.

Naru spurted a large amount of water, unsure whether to be astonished or just really pissed off… so she settled for both. Her eyes resembled two big 'X's' and her face reached boiling point. "K-KEITARO?! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!"

Keitaro pointed at Naru and laughed for ages.

"LOOK AT ME!" she continued to shout, tugging at her wet top, "MY CLOTHES ARE RUINED!!"

Keitaro was still laughing.

Naru felt like a mega punch was in order, but she reached a point of being so stressed out, that all she wanted to do was get the shopping sorted out and go inside. She waded out of the hot springs to pick up the items of food that were scattered around (i.e. all of them). Keitaro was still laughing.

Seething to herself, Naru packed away the shopping and walked inside.

Her throat seized up.

The bags unconsciously dropped to the floor.

Kitsune lied in a heap in the middle of the living room. Motionless. Covered in blood. Next to Kitsune's body was a kitchen knife. Also covered in blood.

Naru could only scream with insanity.

"Hu…huh?!… aaah… ah…. Ee…. EEEEEEKKKK!!! KITSUNE?! KITSUNE!!! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!"

Naru ran over and lifted Kitsune's head. She couldn't stop crying.

"KITSUNE!! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!! C-CAN YOU SPEAK?!? DID… DID KEITARO MURDER YOU?!?!"

Keitaro had now joined the commotion inside. He couldn't contain himself much longer. He was in a fit of hysterics.

"KEITARO!! YOU… YOU TWISTED BASTARD!! YOU STABBED MY BEST…"

Naru sniffed Kitsune's body.

"_Huh?"_

Last time she checked, blood did not reek of tomato sauce.

Just to make sure, Naru opened the buttons of Kitsune's shirt, and inspected her body thoroughly to see if there were any knife wounds. There were none.

Now Naru was livid.

"You… YOU TRICKED ME?!?! YOU AND KITSUNE?! MY BEST FRIEND AND KEITARO?! NNNNGGH! NNNGH!! RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA STUDY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH BULLSHIT FOR ONE DAY!!"

Keitaro, still laughing, had to fall on his knees, for his gravity could not take all the humiliation he dealt to Naru. Naru angrily made her way to her room. The sound of her slamming her door could be heard a mile away.

Kitsune at last came to, though she was still recovering from her hangover.

"OoooOOooohhh… how did I wind up here?" she said in a daze, "And what's… this stuff on me?"

Keitaro crossed his arms and shook his head. "Honestly, you are such a hopeless drunk Kitsune."

**-0-0-**

Keitaro opened the door and walked into Naru's room, much to Naru's annoyance (she was now wearing a lime shirt and new pair of jeans, in favour of her old soaked clothes).

"Who said you could come in?!" asked a very bitter Naru.

"But we always study together!" Keitaro whined.

"Hmph!" she huffed, closing her eyes, "Think I'll let you inside after the way you behaved? Get lost."

Keitaro hung his head low. "I'm sorry, I just… it's just for the past few days I've been really bored. I keep doing the same old household chores and it's becoming really dreary…"

"You soaked by best clothes plus you had me believe you murdered Kitsune!"

"I'm sorry, please forgive me."

Naru opened one eye to take a look at the pathetic manager. He did appear sincere in his apology.

Naru let out a forgiving sigh. "All right, fine, but no more funny business. Got that?"

"Okay!" Keitaro said, who then joined Naru for studying.

"_Seriously, what on earth is wrong with him?" _thought Naru, _"He has never pulled a prank on me since… come to think of it, he has never pulled a prank on me! I know being a manager isn't exactly an easy job. Maybe all the pressure is finally getting to him. He does deserve a little time off now and then… but doing that to me was still wrong!"_

They were ten minutes into their studying when…

"Hey Naru?" Keitaro asked.

"Hmm?" Naru replied, still focusing on her text book.

"…"

"…"

Naru stopped reading and turned to face Keitaro. "What? What is it?"

Keitaro said nothing. He was concentrating on his studying.

"Keitaro. What is it?" Naru asked again.

Again he said nothing.

Naru growled lowly and went back to studying. _"Weirdo." _she thought.

Five minutes later… and Keitaro started to whistle. He wasn't really exceptional at whistling. In fact, to put it more accurately, his whistling skill was below par.

Naru slowly clenched her right fist, resisting the urge to produce multiple veins from her forehead. "Can you stop whistling please?" she ordered.

Keitaro stopped whistling, and Naru thanked him, minus the appreciation shown from her voice. They retained their usual studying behaviour once again.

Five minutes later… and Keitaro started softly singing to himself.

"Doobee doo daa… debedadebadubo doobee doo daa…"

Naru tensed up but remained reading her text book.

Keitaro decided to turn the volume up a notch.

"Do. Do. Dobeee doooo… dada daaa dada daaa dabadee dabo dooo…"

Naru's breathing changed into an irregular pattern. Keitaro could have sworn he heard her nostrils flaring up. Keitaro decided to stop singing.

…

…

For the best part of nine seconds.

"DO! DO! DOOBEEEDOOOO! DADDADADADA!"

"**OH WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!!?" **roared Naru.

Keitaro reverted back to silence. He feared Naru would disembowel him if he dared another word.

They continued studying. Naru at this stage was a kettle filled to the brim with boiling hot water. If Keitaro so much as touched her, he was going to get _burned_.

Two o'clock…

"Wow, two o'clock already?" Keitaro said as he checked his watch, "I better fix up some lunch!"

"Whatever." Naru mumbled.

Keitaro got ready to leave Naru's room, when he added, "Um, can I make you anything? Sandwiches? A bento? Um… curry?"

Naru's pen was in fear of being crushed by inhuman strength. "I. Don't. Care." she uttered.

"Okay doke! Smell ya later!"

The door closed, and Naru's anger reached a staggering level.

"_Urrrgh!! What the hell has gotten into him?! He's behaving like such a five year old! I swear! It's embarrassing being in the same room as him! Why is he like this? Why?! WHY?!? Wh…"_

"Where's Liddo-kun?" she said all of a sudden.

Her heart skipped a beat. Liddo-kun, the bright yellow cat… bear… mouse… _thing _always sat snugly on Naru's top shelf, leaning to the left side of a few really old dusty books. Liddo-kun rarely ever moved from that spot. Now it was gone. Naru began to panic. Liddo-kun was her most treasured possession. In fact, Liddo-kun revolved around her life, and was even regarded more important than her four other favoured pastimes (studying, punching Keitaro, being with her friends and acting in denial).

Her panic stressed ten-fold. She ran to the living room, and then the kitchen. No luck.

"Hey Keitaro!" she called out, "Have you seen…"

Naru stopped talking. Where _was _Keitaro?

She heard something outside, though she couldn't pinpoint what the sound was. She opened the main door.

And froze.

Her jaw crashed to the ground.

Outside, Liddo-kun was on fire, and behind the once cute plushie stood Keitaro with hair overshadowing his eyes. In Keitaro's right hand was a box of matches.

An aura of gloom filled Keitaro as he spoke in a ghostly voice. "Naru… I _know _you've been having an affair with Liddo-kun behind my back. What's wrong Naru? Is my love for you not enough? Well… let me tell you this… nobody cheats with me and lives. Not even the doll…"

Now, if Naru was in a normal state of mind (a very rare occurrence) then she would have realised that Keitaro, somewhat indirectly, confessed his love for her. However, that thought was violently pushed away, thanks to her favourite yellow doll being burned to death.

"L…L… L-L-LIDDO-KUN!!!" she screamed. Her world was tumbling before her very eyes.

Naru dashed over to the doll and plunged it into the hot springs. A loud sizzling sound was heard and trails of smoke escaped from the dowsed fire. When the burning threat was no more, she looked at Liddo-kun. The doll's head and upper body was completely black.

She shook Liddo-kun left and right. Her eyes were filled with pure horror.

Liddo-kun remained staring at Naru, like some weak, pathetic animal.

And then…

…Liddo-kun's head fell off.

The deceased yellow doll was now released from Naru's hold.

Naru lifted her head to meet Keitaro. Keitaro reverted from 'concealed eyes' mode, which then swiftly changed to 'frightened shitless' mode.

Naru made a twisted, dry smile and said, "Hey Keitaro, come here."

Keitaro backed away. "Ah… n…no thanks."

"Keitaro… come… here…"

Keitaro gulped. He had unlocked the worse possible Naru anger known to mankind. Her smile was absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt, the most dangerous and scariest thing in the entire universe.

Keitaro ran for dear life, his arms flaying around as though he had no conscious control of them. He could feel the devil's breath burning against his neck. Naru was millimetres away from tearing the manager into bite sized pieces.

As he ran, Keitaro tripped and tumbled through the main steps descending from Hinata-Sou. After many yelps of pain, he finally hit the bottom in a crumpled heap… but it was amazing how quickly one's bones could knit after being chased by a demoness smothered in hellfire.

Keitaro dashed through the local areas of the city, pushing any person that dared get in his way. Naru closely followed Keitaro's path, and was ploughing through _anything _that got in her way. Keitaro tried to confuse Naru by madly running into a traffic filled road. Many cars nearly crashed into him, but Keitaro somehow managed to pass through to the other side, unscathed and with all body parts intact.

Keitaro stopped and turned around. Naru was at the opposite end, watching him, eyes wanting to destroy his soul.

"_Let's see her get through that…" _Keitaro thought.

Naru screamed bloodlust and charged into the road. Cars stopped, but the driver of a megaton lorry couldn't hit the brakes in time.

Naru's head turned to face the lorry. She tightened the grip with her right fist.

The city people gasped as they witnessed a most incredible and frightening experience. Naru mega punched the lorry so hard that the overweight vehicle flew miles into the sky, like it were a tennis ball being launched out of a cannon.

Keitaro's pants began to smell like a lavatory.

The chase continued, and they found themselves running into a quiet park. Keitaro thought he could outwit Naru by climbing up a large tree and hiding amongst the leaves. Unfortunately, Naru just spotted his dangling feet, trying to desperately ascend to the top.

With humongous strength, Naru grabbed the tree with both hands and pulled all of its roots out of the ground. Keitaro could not take it any longer. He held onto the branch for as long as humanly possible, but Naru relentlessly shook the tree left and right. He then found his grip being violently torn away. He fell and landed on the back of his head.

A monstrous shadow loomed over him. A shadow so monstrous, that its presence froze Keitaro to the bone. Only Keitaro's head adjusted to see a venomous Naru tower before him.

Naru cracked her knuckles and looked down at Keitaro with a toothy, hellish grin.

"Any last words?" she asked hauntingly.

"Uuuuhhh…" Keitaro scratched his head as he tried to think of an answer.

Naru decided to give him ten seconds of his time before ending his useless existence.

Keitaro reached out with his hand… and squeezed her right breast.

"Naru… I really, _really _want to see you naked." he answered.

Her left eye twitched.

Make that two seconds.

…

…

…

**-0-0-**

Much time has passed by. Motoko, Shinobu and Kaolla have returned home. Joined with Kitsune and Naru, the five girls tucked into their dinner.

"I hope Senpai gets back soon…" said Shinobu, noticing the ever darkening sky. She felt guilty for eating without Keitaro.

"Say Naru, you two didn't get into a fight again, did you?" asked Kitsune. Drunk as she was back then, Kitsune must have remained asleep long enough not to hear Liddo-kun being set on fire.

"I wonder." Naru said as she ate a slice of chicken. Her eerie calmness made everyone feel very uncomfortable.

Motoko dapped her lips with a napkin as she clarified a conclusion. "Do not worry yourself Shinobu-chan. I'm sure Urashima will arrive soon."

Naru picked up a cup of orange juice and slowly sipped its contents.

"I wonder." she said again.

Once again they felt uncomfortable. It must have been some fight, they all thought.

…

…

…

**-0-0-**

The sky was pitch black.

To survive this long was regarded a miracle, given he had been buried headfirst into the garden park. Only his ankles and feet were left unburied, trying to pathetically wiggle out of an impossible predicament. His voice was muffled from the underground.

"Um… Naru? I'm sorry. I've learned my lesson, okay? Naru? Naaaarrruuu?"

He sighed, knowing she had left him ages ago.

Keitaro learned a very important lesson that day. That lesson was; don't touch Liddo-kun… and if you do… _never feed him lit matches._


	6. Manager and Power Ranger!

**Day 06 - Manager and Power Ranger!**

Keitaro woke up with a yawn and proceeded to knock the soil out of his ears… only to discover there was no soil in his ears to begin with.

"_This time loop sure is strange getting used to." _he mused.

After getting himself ready, Keitaro thought through a lot of things when he walked into the corridor. He took a large step over the skateboard and contemplated what to do next. For some reason… Motoko popped into his head. Motoko was certainly the more reserved one of the bunch, and her personal hatred of all things masculine did not help matters at all, for Keitaro's well being anyway. Keitaro remembered the early days staying at Hinata-Sou. The moment Keitaro stepped out of line (usually unintentionally), Motoko would force her blade millimetres away from his neck, threatening the man with venom dripping from her lips. Back then, the swordswoman was an extremely cold person to deal with.

At least now… she tolerated Keitaro's company, albeit barely, but Keitaro thought of all the attacks Motoko unleashed on him. They were almost on par with Naru.

Maybe it was time to teach the kendo girl a lesson?

No. Teaching her a lesson would be too boring for Keitaro. Maybe it would be better just to harass her like he did with Naru. The sheer thought of bewildering Motoko almost caused Keitaro to giggle like a little girl. Was it even possible?

**-0-0-**

"Good morning!" Keitaro greeted the tenants, joining them at the table for breakfast.

"Hiya oniichan!"

"M-morning."

"Hey Keitaro."

"Morning hon!"

Keitaro looked at Motoko. She was the only one not to respond.

"Morning Motoko-chan!" Keitaro said.

Since they sat closest to the kendo girl, Kitsune and Naru shot a concerned glance towards her.

"Morning." Motoko said at last, though her eyes remained on the plate in front of her.

Once again Naru grew frustrated as she tried to solve the anagram. The piece of paper travelled in its usual circle, but when Shinobu timidly offered the puzzle to Keitaro, he just simply waved his hand, indicated he couldn't be bothered. The lack of Keitaro's interaction made Shinobu feel a little sad, but she returned the puzzle to Naru nonetheless.

"Hey Motoko-chan!" Keitaro said.

Motoko didn't reply. Kitsune and Naru were giving Keitaro quick frowns, but Keitaro didn't care about their facial expressions.

"Motoko-chan…"

Still nothing.

"Moootoookooo Aaaaoooyaaamaaa-chaaaaan…"

"What? What is it?" Motoko asked, now facing him with irritable eyes.

Keitaro gave her an eyesmile. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"… …yes." Motoko answered, and went back to her food… doubling her eating speed until she emptied the plate. She thanked Shinobu for breakfast, got herself ready for school and hurried her way outside.

"Alright, do you mind explaining us what that was all about?" Naru sternly asked Keitaro.

"What? Aren't I allowed a simple conversation with Motoko?" countered Keitaro as he shrugged.

"It's just that… well you know how she is with men…"

"I know, but we have lived together for a short while you know. I thought she would have gotten used to me by now."

There was a short pause before Naru resumed the conversation again.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Me? Yeah I'm fine!" Keitaro answered.

Naru made a 'hmm' sort of sound before concluding with, "Well… whatever…"

**-0-0-**

The journey from Hinata-Sou to the train station was a short lived one, thanks to the blinding speed of her long athletic legs. She wore her summer uniform that consisted of a white top and a blue skirt that reached to her knees in length. She took this opportunity to look at other girls wearing the same uniform. Some of their skirt sizes were much too short for her liking, becoming more of a fashion statement, or worse, a magnet for perverts.

Speaking of perverts…

"_Why was Urashima speaking in such a… a kind hearted way? I hope he wasn't trying to make friends with me. He would be a fool to even think that."_

A good ten minutes later, Shinobu and Kaolla joined the quiet one. They panted the moment they stopped running.

"Are you okay Motoko-senpai?" Shinobu softly asked, "You seemed to be in a hurry."

"Shinobu-chan, Kaolla-chan. Sorry, I just… needed to get some exercise." Motoko lied. She only wanted to be away from the talkative manager.

"I thought you had the runs!" beamed Kaolla.

Motoko sagged her shoulders. "No, I didn't have 'the runs'."

Kaolla showed that infectious smile of hers, infectious enough for Motoko to smile back. The three girls waited for a further four minutes.

"Train must be delayed." Motoko said to herself.

It was not long afterwards when Motoko detected the sound of footsteps becoming rapidly closer. This was later followed by the dog like panting of Keitaro Urashima. The three girls turned around with surprised faces.

"S-Senpai!" said Shinobu, the more alarmed of the three.

"Hey Keitaro! Are you coming to school with us?" asked Kaolla with eagerness.

Motoko gave Keitaro a look which, if translated into words, would read 'Urashima, what on earth are you doing here?!' Actually to hell with it, she decided to speak her mind.

"Urashima! What on earth are you doing here?!" she demanded.

"You… dropped… this…" Keitaro said in between pants. He handed her a book.

"_Hmm?" _Motoko thought as she accepted the book, _"I do not recall leaving a book behind…"_

"_Wow, Senpai ran all that way just to give Motoko-senpai her book? How thoughtful and caring." _Shinobu daydreamed.

But as Motoko looked at the book, her curiosity was quickly replaced with absolute confusion.

"Urashima…" she began to say.

"Yeah?" Keitaro asked.

"This… this is your diary…"

The title of the front cover did not lie. Shinobu blinked out of fantasy land. What in the love of God was going through Senpai's mind? Even Kaolla couldn't think of a single thing to say.

Keitaro rubbed his neck and laughed. "Oh? Oh so it is! Ha ha! How silly of me…"

Motoko turned around and was about to walk away, when Keitaro said…

"…wait Motoko-chan! Stand still! There's something on your back!"

Motoko stopped moving. "There is?" she replied, _"I don't feel anything."_

"Just… stand there and I'll brush it off." Keitaro told her.

Motoko sighed. Knowing Keitaro was only trying to help, she did as she was told, just this once… but suddenly her senses kicked in. Her instincts told her something was deeply wrong.

Too late.

Keitaro's glasses glimmered white. He dropped to his knees, grabbed the sides of Motoko's skirt, and pulled the whole thing down with one merciless tug. Her skirt had now dropped down to her ankles, which revealed her pure white panties for everyone to see.

Motoko was now the main attraction for all middle aged workers, for they stared long enough to give themselves nosebleeds. Witnessing Keitaro's deplorable action, Shinobu's eyes turned into white dots and her mouth hung largely agape. Kaolla stood there with a bemused open smile. She was mildly entertained, but mostly confused.

As for Motoko… she turned white. Her clothes, her hair, her skin and her rucksack turned white. She even had an aura of whiteness. Her facial expression suggested she just lost her virginity with a cactus.

Every cell in Keitaro's body exploded with excitement, but he wasn't quite done yet. He raised his right hand… and with it smacked Motoko's rear end. Her right cheek to be precise.

Motoko trembled with mass insanity.

Shinobu looked like she was going to pass out any given second.

**-0-0-**

Back in Naru's room…

"So… let me guess this straight," Naru tried reasoning with Keitaro, "you went over to visit Motoko because you thought she left a schoolbook behind… only to discover it was your diary instead… and _then _you just tripped, fell over and pulled Motoko's skirt down?!"

"And then Motoko-chan gave me the 'air shattering fist'!" Keitaro complained, rubbing his massive black and purple bruise on his face, "Can you believe the audacity of that woman?"

"Well… YES!" Naru answered with force, "Of course Motoko is going to react like that, accident or not! I mean, come on, a train station full of pervy old men?!"

Keitaro gave up and resumed his studying. "Well I still think she went too far…"

Naru sighed and resumed studying as well. _"Knowing Motoko, she isn't going to take this lying down."_

**-0-0-**

Time passed by and the three girls returned from school. Keitaro was about to open the main door to greet them, when instead he found himself greeted with a violent wave of ki energy. He propelled to the far side of the room before making contact on the wall.

"H-Hello M-Motoko-chan!" Keitaro said with a few missing teeth.

Motoko remained in a poised offensive stance, her sword tightly gripped with two hands. Shinobu and Kaolla were still unsure how to greet their manager.

Naru and Kitsune ran to Keitaro's aid.

"Hey come on!" Kitsune told Motoko, "Keitaro only greeted you!"

Motoko ignored the older girl, her eyes still fixated on Keitaro. "URASHIMA!! WHAT YOU DID TO ME WAS UTTERLY INEXCUSABLE!!"

"Wait! Wait!" Naru said as she tried to take control of the situation, "I know Keitaro is a careless klutz, but he always does these kind of things by accident! Right, Keitaro?"

"Yeah!" added Kitsune, "You should… just let bygones be bygones!"

Motoko's mouth opened before she reformed her anger. "ACCIDENT?!? LIKE HELL IT WERE AN ACCIDENT!!"

Motoko had everyone's attention.

"HE DELIBERATELY PULLED DOWN MY SKIRT AND… AND THEN HE SLAPPED MY BOTTOM!!"

"Eh… ah ha ha! No I didn't!" Keitaro lamely denied.

One could tell from Shinobu's expression that she lost all known respect for the manager she knew and loved. It was this time that Kaolla would normally say something daft, but even the tanned girl kept quiet this time.

Now it was Naru's turn to freeze. No, Keitaro would never do such a thing. That would be disturbing and wrong on so many levels. Anyway, whatever she thought, it was too late now. Motoko pointed her sword at Keitaro's throat and challenged him to a duel. Motoko stated if she should win, then Keitaro would be thrown out of Hinata-Sou for good.

"I… um… accept your challenge!" Keitaro said, a little too proudly for anyone's liking.

Motoko did a double take. "You… you do?"

The rest of the girls were enveloped in confusion.

The living room was cleared out to make space for the duel to come. They stared at each other without giving an inch nor quarter. Motoko was about to draw her sword when…

"WAIT!" Keitaro shouted, causing everyone to fall on the floor.

Motoko, surprised from Keitaro's loudness, readied herself back up. "What?!"

Quickly, Keitaro said, "What happens if I win?"

"You won't win." Motoko stated.

Keitaro continued staring at Motoko. Motoko was taken back by this. Why wasn't he cowering in fear?

"Okay…" Motoko said again, "…_if _you win, then… I am yours to command until the end of this day!"

The tenants gasped. Even though Motoko was sure to win, it was still pretty bold of her to say something like that.

"Right, _now _are we ready?" she asked.

"Um… yes."

Motoko raised her sword again…

"WAIT!!" Keitaro shouted. They all fell over again.

Motoko snarled as she got off the floor. "What is it now?"

"I… I get to choose what kind of match we have!"

Motoko thought this through for a second. "Fine… you can choose whatever match you want. _We can fight with daggers, kendo sticks… we can even fight with broomsticks if you so desire, but I will succeed regardless of your choice. Urashima, I will defeat you, and you will be at my mercy."_

"Be back in a few minutes!" Keitaro said as he rushed upstairs.

Motoko patiently waited with a cruel smile.

"_Make your choice count, for it will determine the length of your fate."_

**-0-0-**

Motoko… was now kneeling on the floor opposite Keitaro, who had also lowered himself to Motoko's level. Between them was a plastic barrel with a miniature toy pirate placed on top of it. The other girls stood around them with puzzled faces.

"How does this work?" asked Motoko, _"Are we meant to attack with these tiny swords?"_

"Erm, Motoko, I think it's a game, not a weapon." Naru answered.

"Yeah." agreed Kitsune.

Shinobu hung her head low, feeling deeply ashamed of Keitaro's recent behaviour.

"Cool! Does the barrel have candy inside?" asked Kaolla eagerly.

Keitaro ignored the foreign girl and instead gave Naru a sheet of paper. "Naru, you have the honour of explaining the rules to everyone!" he told her.

"Uuummm… okay?" Naru said.

She cleared her throat before stating the rules.

"Ahem! You must take it in turns to push the plastic swords inside the slots of the barrel. One randomly determined slot will cause the toy pirate to pop out of the barrel, causing the player to automatically lose the game…"

"It's called 'Pop-up Pirate!'" added Keitaro, "the incorrect slot will cause the pirate to 'pop up', get it?"

Motoko had a look of horror on her face. "So… this is just a game… AND A GAME OF CHANCE NO LESS!! URASHIMA YOU COWARD!!"

"Sorry Motoko, but you agreed on me choosing whatever match I want, and the match I have chosen is Pop up Pirate!"

Kitsune stroked her chin. "Well Naru, you have to admit, that's pretty smart play coming from your boyfriend!"

"He's NOT my boyfriend!" Naru protested, "And it's pretty cheap if you ask me!"

Motoko tried her best to compose herself, but given the stipulations, it wasn't very easy to do. _"I… I can't believe a master swordswoman such as myself has been reduced to playing this… this children's party game!"_

"_It all comes down to this!" _thought Keitaro, _"If I lose, I get thrown out, well until the next day that is… but I really want to win! If I do, that means I'll have complete control over Motoko!"_

Motoko sighed. Already she felt her respect being cut in half. "You go first."

"Okay!" said Keitaro.

"Actually come to think of it… maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all." mused Kitsune, "Knowing Keitaro's bad luck, he'll probably wind up losing on the first turn."

"And then he'll get kicked out by Motoko." added Naru, _"I still can't believe what Motoko said to us earlier! Is it really true?"_

"Let the games begin!" cheered Kaolla, waving a pair of red pompoms.

Keitaro grabbed a plastic sword and pushed it into one of the slots. He waited with anticipation, but breathed a sigh of relief when nothing happened. Now it was Motoko's turn. She placed a sword in the slot opposite Keitaro. Nothing happened.

"Okay, here goes nothing!" said Keitaro.

He picked up a second sword and placed it inside the barrel. He waited. Nothing happened.

Motoko made a face as he lucked out for the second time. She then picked up a sword and placed it inside another slot. She waited. Nothing happened.

…

So far the game lasted three nail biting minutes. Plenty of swords have now filled the barrel, but still the pirate refused to escape. With each sword pressed inside, Naru, Kitsune and Kaolla inched themselves closer to the game, whilst Shinobu walked upstairs into her room, probably to sulk over the completely transformed manager. As for Motoko and Keitaro, they were sweating profusely. There were not many vacant slots left. Something had to give. This wasn't Pop up Pirate anymore. This was Russian Roulette.

Keitaro examined the barrel very carefully. There were three slots to choose from… and he was shaking. He closed his eyes and pressed a sword inside. Naru's eyes told it all. Much as she disliked the man, she would hate to see him leave over a (in her opinion) misunderstanding.

The pirate remained in place, and Keitaro let out one gut retching sigh. Motoko made an annoyed noise. Why wouldn't that bastard pirate pop up?

Two swords remained.

No doubt feeling the effects of frustration, Motoko hastily shoved a sword in one of the two vacant slots. The girls and Keitaro had all practically pressed their noses on the barrel.

Motoko stood up and shouted, "HA! I WIN! THERE'S ONLY ONE SLOT LEFT URASHIMA! YOU LOSE! NOW PREPARE TO BE-"

_Pop!_

The pirate popped out of its hole, flying high in slow motion for all the girls to see. No one could believe their eyes, least of all Motoko.

"I… I win?" said Keitaro in surprise, "I… win! I win! Oh wow! I can't believe I won!"

"THAT WAS A DELAYED POP!!" screamed Motoko, "I… NO! THAT MEANS! OH GOD! THAT MEANS…"

"…until the end of the day, you have to do everything I tell you to!" announced Keitaro.

"Oooh! Ask her to do something reeeally kinky!" cheered on Kitsune, _"Man, when did Keitaro grow a pair of balls?"_

"Ask her to play computer games with me!" said Kaolla as she bounced all over the place.

"WAIT!" shouted Naru suddenly. Playing games is one thing but doing what Kitsune suggested irked her to no end, "No! Haha! I mean… this is Keitaro's choice, right?"

Naru turned to face Keitaro.

"I have an idea!" she suggested, "Why don't you… …hey I know! Maybe you should make Motoko… behave… more womanly! Dress her up in… well, dresses! Put on makeup! That sort of thing! What do you think Keitaro?"

Naru remained staring at Keitaro, whereas Motoko stood there with a frown.

"_Come on Keitaro! Prove to me that you're not the pervert Motoko thinks you are!" _thought Naru.

Keitaro looked at Naru for a good five seconds.

Then he started to laugh.

"HAHAHA! You gotta be kidding me, right?! That has to be the most dumbest thing I have ever heard in all my entire life! Seriously, are you on crack or something?!"

"K-Keitaro…" Naru murmured.

"Okay! I've decided!" Keitaro said, earning their attention, "I want to go out on a movie date with Motoko-chan… and of course, she has to do everything I say!"

Every cell in Motoko's body turned into frozen spheres. She had a very bad feeling about this.

"I… I understand." the swordswoman complied, bowing with hesitance.

Naru was in near shock. Did Keitaro just say the 'd' word?

**-0-0-**

Keitaro decided to make a bit of an impression for his 'date', so he wore a red shirt and blue faded jeans in favour of his usual ancient styled clothing. Currently he was waiting outside Hinata-Sou.

But not for long.

The main door slowly opened. Stepping outside were Kitsune and a very transformed Motoko.

"There ya go hon!" Kitsune said with pride, "One pink power ranger, just as you promised!"

One had to see it to believe it. With the exception of a mask, Motoko's entire body was compromised with a pink space outfit, much like the one shown in the Power Rangers series. She also wore white leather gloves and matching boots. It looked extremely tight and uncomfortable.

It was amazing what sort of outfits lurked inside Kitsune's closet.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovers to your honeymoon!" Kitsune said as she waved herself back inside.

"IT'S A DATE!" Motoko corrected, but covered her mouth. She couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Yeah, yeah! Whatever!"

Keitaro made a happy eyesmile towards Motoko. Motoko looked like she wanted to maim something.

"You _do _know the others will probably intervene, right?" Motoko said, _"Kitsune is leaving us at the moment, but later may follow our progress with a disguise! I just know it!"_

"Hmmm," mused Keitaro, "I didn't think about that! In fact, I'm glad you told me Motoko-chan… because I want you to do something before our date!"

Motoko sighed.

"What?"

**-0-0-**

Naru sat down on the living room couch, hugging her knees, recalling what Keitaro said to her. "Why… why was Keitaro so mean to me? And making her wear that… that costume was really cruel. What's more, Motoko took her oath pretty seriously."

"Ah, don't sweat it girl!" Kitsune reasoned, walking to where her friend was, "Keitaro's just having a little fun is all!"

Kaolla was tapping a finger on her lips. When Keitaro said if Naru was on crack, she wondered if he meant a crack on an egg, or something along those lines.

Suddenly Motoko re-entered the house, wielding her trusty sword.

Kitsune was puzzled as she looked at Motoko with foxy shut eyes. "Well that was quick!" she stated, "You didn't send him to the stars already, did you?"

Motoko lowered her head and sighed. "Forgive me everyone… SECRET TECHNIQUE: BOULDER CUTTING BLADE!! MULTIPLE STRIKES!!"

Shinobu walked down the stairs at the worse possible time. Ki waves were launched everywhere around the room, striking everyone except the executioner. Motoko then carried the unconscious bodies into Shinobu's room and closed the door behind them.

**-0-0-**

"Wow! I can't believe you attacked your own friends!" Keitaro said, when Motoko walked outside to join him.

"My 'attacks' did not harm them," argued Motoko, "they have merely lost consciousness for a few hours… besides… aren't they _your _friends too?"

Keitaro shrugged. "Meh, whatever."

Motoko walked a number of paces, but suddenly stopped and turned around. Keitaro wasn't moving.

"Well, are we going or what?" asked Motoko.

Keitaro kept looking at her.

"Carry me." he said.

Motoko's throat became dry. "You… you want me to… carry you?!"

"Yes."

"You… you can't be serious?!"

Keitaro pointed a finger on his face.

"Note. Serious. Face."

**-0-0-**

The distance to the cinema complex was approximately half an hours distance (ten minutes to the station, fifteen minutes via train, and a further five minutes to the cinema itself). During this journey, Motoko had carried Keitaro all of this time, earning curious looks from many city onlookers. Naturally, it was an extremely rare sight to see a pink power ranger carrying a geeky looking guy in her arms. Some children even thought Motoko was some kind of celebrity, but when they rushed over for an autograph, Keitaro harshly shooed them away, causing them to run away crying. Motoko could not believe Keitaro's audacity. He had never showed vicious and uncaring behaviour towards anyone, much less innocent children.

"Alright you can put me down now." Keitaro instructed, noticing they were near the cinema.

Motoko put down the dead weight and gasped, rubbing the feeling back in her arms when she did so. The manager and the power ranger looked at the poster displays shown on the large window. In ten minutes time, they had the choice of watching 'Freak Zombie Apocalypse' or 'The Rocky Road of a Lone Samurai'.

"So which one to you want to see?" asked Keitaro.

Motoko contemplated the choices, forgetting for a second she was dressed in a pink power rangers outfit. "Well I wouldn't mind seeing the samurai one, if that's okay with you."

"Two tickets to see Freak Zombie Apocalypse please!" Keitaro told the ticket seller, causing Motoko to fall over.

"WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ME ASKING?!" shouted Motoko.

Keitaro shrugged as he exchanged the money for tickets.

Growling, Motoko followed Keitaro inside.

**-0-0-**

Motoko and Keitaro found a couple of seats around the centre row, before sitting down next to each other. They watched the advertisements on the large lit screen. Keitaro was eating a large plastic bucket of popcorn, whereas Motoko was contempt with a small cup of milkshake with straw. Once Keitaro (rather hastily) munched all of his popcorn, he had the nerve to place the empty bucket on top of Motoko's head. Motoko felt herself boiling inside. She lifted up the bucket and placed it on the floor, though she secretly wanted to ram the whole thing down his throat.

At last the two relaxed, but a quiet dread filled the swordswoman. Was Keitaro just going to let it be, or was he planning something else?

Motoko could hear the sound of Keitaro scribbling with a pen, but she tried her best to ignore him and just enjoy the film, even though it wasn't the one she wanted to see.

It was five minutes later… when Keitaro prodded her left arm. Motoko turned around sharply and whispered, "What?"

Keitaro said nothing but instead gave Motoko a cue card; a smallish white card with words written on it. Motoko gave Keitaro a confused stare before taking the card from his hand. She looked at the card. It read: 'From now on you must do exactly what is written on these cue cards.'

Motoko did not like the sound of that one bit.

More scribbling was heard.

Keitaro gave Motoko another cue card.

Motoko read the cue card.

It read: 'Kiss me on the cheek.'

Motoko nearly shrieked. She looked worryingly at Keitaro. Did he seriously want her to kiss him on the cheek?! Keitaro turned his face slightly to the left, as if to say 'what are you waiting for?'

He was _so _serious.

Motoko closed her eyes and mouth. She looked as though she sampled a two litre bottle of vinegar. It wasn't a _kiss _kiss but it was close enough to the real thing. Just get it over with, she thought. Just get it the hell over with.

As quick as a flash, Motoko delicately pressed her lips on his cheek, making Keitaro all light hearted and giddy inside. Seriously, controlling people was so much fun, he thought to himself.

After the opening credits, the film had finally began.

Five minutes into the film… Motoko received another cue card from Keitaro. Motoko looked at the card.

It read: 'Make a sound like a crow.'

Motoko's mouth hung agape. She looked at Keitaro in disbelief, but Keitaro retaliated by slowly nodding to her. Motoko really wanted to die.

"C-Caw!" she said, imitating a crow as best as she could.

Another cue card was given to her. The cue card read: 'Louder'.

She couldn't believe she was doing this.

"CAW! CAW!" she shouted.

"SHHHHHHHH!!" came the sounds of people around her.

Keitaro had to wrap his arms around his chest, just to stop himself from laughing.

…

Time passed by.

For a moment, Motoko thought it was all over. Perhaps Keitaro realised he had gone overboard with his pranks, not that she would show him any mercy the next day. Luckily for Keitaro, there was no next day.

But Keitaro plopped another cue card on her lap.

It read: 'Stand up.'

Motoko exhaled a single breath of air. She slowly rose from her seat and just stood there, no doubt pissing off the middle aged woman who was sitting behind her. Motoko felt really embarrassed. Just how long did she have to stand up for?

With his trusty right thumb and index finger… Keitaro pinched her behind. Her left cheek this time.

Motoko reacted like a volcano.

"YOU ARE REALLY PUSHING YOUR LUCK URASHIMA!!" she bellowed, raising two fists high into the air.

"SHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Motoko turned red and wilted back into her seat.

It took her a good few seconds to realise another card was placed on her lap. There was a lot of writing on this one.

It read: 'When it gets to a scary scene, hug me and say "WAAAGH! Zomigod! Zombies are so scary, Keitaro-sama!" in a squeaky distressed voice.'

"_You… must be kidding me." _Motoko thought with a blank face.

It was only a matter of time when a scary scene would grace the screen. After all, this was Freak Zombie Apocalypse. There were already lots of scary scenes, even though Motoko never regarded them as scary. But that was all going to change.

Suddenly, a zombie wolf dived out of nowhere and decapitated an unsuspecting human.

Motoko shook her head rapidly. It was now or never. Even her code of honour had its limits.

"WAAAAGH! Zomigod! Zombies are so scary, Keitaro-sama!" Motoko squealed, latching herself onto Keitaro's arm. Eight out of ten for acting.

"Oh for goodness sake! Will you be quiet!" the woman behind told her.

Keitaro forced Motoko's head on his lap and slowly stroked her long dark hair.

"It's okay Pink Ranger," he said in a soothing voice, "I'll protect you from those nasty zombies."

Motoko managed to squirm out of this position and resumed watching the film.

Motoko hated life.

…

…

…

It was nearly over now. A few minutes later and the film will fade to black, and be replaced by the closing credits.

Much to Motoko's surprise, Keitaro promptly stood up and proceeded to walk to the exit… but not before leaving a final cue card on Motoko's lap.

Motoko looked at the cue card. It simply read: 'follow me'.

**-0-0-**

Keitaro was standing just by the door leading to the woman's restroom, waiting for his date to meet him. When Motoko arrived, she wondered what was in store for her next. Her thoughts varied from wild to absolute repulsiveness.

Then… two items in his hands immediately caught her eyes. Keitaro was carrying a red playboy bunny outfit in one hand… and a pogo stick in the other. Heaven knows how he managed to acquire such items.

"Put this on." he told Motoko.

Motoko nearly choked to death as she looked at the bunny outfit. It looked even tighter than the power ranger one.

**-0-0-**

The film reached its conclusion, and the audience were about to lift themselves off their seats… when they all heard the sound of somebody speaking through a megaphone. That somebody… was Keitaro Urashima.

**"May I have your attention please!" **Keitaro said with the megaphone, **"We all hope you enjoyed the film… even though I thought it sucked, but whatever! Now here's a little something extra to whet your appetites! Let's hear it for the fabulous bunny girl, Motoko Aoyama!"**

Everyone was looking at the person next to them. That all sat back into their seats, and were confused beyond belief. There wasn't anything mentioned about a special feature after the film.

Keitaro plugged in a CD player, (again, God knows how it acquired that… or the megaphone) inserted a CD, turned the volume up to its most highest setting… and finally pressed play. After a short while of loading up the CD… plinky plonk piano music filled the room. Keitaro then made a hand motion, signalling Motoko's time to appear.

Motoko arrived on the scene… or rather, she was bouncing her way there. On one hand she was trying to control the pogo stick, and with the other hand she was carrying another megaphone. She tried her best to bounce in a straight line, but every so often she would bounce in another direction.

And then she started to sing.

**"I'M A LITTLE WABBIT! FU-FU! FU-FU! I'M A LITTLE WABBIT! FU-FU-FU…!"**

Everyone was staring at her with wide eyes and open mouths. Some of the teenage guys who were closest to this unusual spectacle had the fortunate opportunity to watch her cleavage jiggle up and down. It was going to take a tsunami to clean up all their nosebleeds.

**"…I LIKE CARROTS! FU-FU! FU-FU! I LIKE CARROTS INSIDE MY BUNNY HOLE!!"**

The song lasted a little over two minutes. It would have lasted longer, but it was interrupted by mass waves of security.

**-0-0-**

And so after being booted out of the cinema complex, Motoko and Keitaro began the long journey back to the train station, and then, after a short walk, they would finally be back at Hinata-Sou. Motoko had now changed back into her power rangers outfit. The bunny outfit made her feel virtually naked, so the power rangers outfit was deemed the lesser of two evils.

Keitaro had his hands behind his head, and was looking at the cloudless sky. The sky was somewhere between a bright blue and a navy colour. The perfect atmosphere. For him anyway.

"You know… I really enjoyed myself today!" Keitaro had the nerve of saying.

He walked ten paces, but realised Motoko wasn't accompanying him. Keitaro turned around… and looked at a distant Motoko. She was crushed. She had tears in her eyes.

"How… how could you?" she said sorrowfully, "Deep down… I thought you were a caring person… I never expected… you to be so cruel… I hate you…"

Keitaro felt a packet of crisps inside his right jean pocket. It was a snack he never got round to eating in the cinema. Probably because, well, he was busy having so much fun. He opened the crisp packet and thought of something truly outrageous.

Keitaro slowly walked up to the crying Motoko.

He stared at her. Eye to eye.

And then… he lowered himself to one knee.

City people were stopping to see what was going on.

"Motoko Aoyama…" Keitaro said softly and seriously.

Motoko looked at him with widened eyes.

"…will… will you marry me?"

Motoko watched with shock as Keitaro carefully put a ring over her gloved finger.

Although technically… it wasn't a ring at all.

It was a hula hoop.

**-0-0-**

Naru was the first to rise from her sleepy state. "Oooh, what happened?" she groaned, rubbing her forehead.

The last thing she remembered was Motoko's sword strike. Then there was black. Nothingness.

The others have also stirred themselves awake. First Kitsune, then Kaolla, and lastly Shinobu.

"Oooo… did we get hammered or something?" asked a weary Kitsune.

Kaolla stretched her arms out wide. "Wow! I had a great dream! It had bananas! And… well that's all it had really!"

Shinobu remained wordless.

Suddenly… the living room phone was ringing.

They all rushed to the living room, and Naru was the first to pick up the phone.

"Hinata Residence." she said with a formal tone.

Hysterical laughter was heard on the other side.

Naru recognised the voice straight away.

"Motoko! Is that you?!" Naru asked. Motoko must be on her mobile phone, she thought.

Kitsune, Kaolla and Shinobu looked worryingly at each other.

"KEITARO IS DEAD!!" came the sound of Motoko's deranged voice. "I FINALLY DID IT! I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM NARU! HE'S DEAD! DEAD!! HE PROPOSED TO ME… AND I STUCK MY SWORD INSIDE HIM! NOW HE IS DEAD! HE IS SUPER DEAD!!"

They all gasped.

"Um… ha… wha?" Naru laughed nervously.

At first, Naru thought, maybe Keitaro asked Motoko to play a sick joke on her…

…but as she heard the ambience of police sirens… she began to have other ideas_…_


	7. The Substitute Teacher

**Day 07 - The Substitute Teacher**

The fifth lesson of the day had begun and already Shinobu was late, so she ran as fast as her little legs could carry her. She fell asleep whilst studying in the school library again, and she knew her math teacher was going to give her a hard time. Actually, she didn't mind being told off, though she took it to heart when some of her classmates would laugh at her misfortune.

When she approached the classroom door, Shinobu stood to attention and took a deep breath. She exhaled and pushed the door open. A strange feeling crept inside her. Classmates were chatting amongst themselves, and for once, she was not the centre of debate. The teacher had not arrived in class yet, which was a little unusual considering he was always one for arriving dead on time.

Amongst the classroom ambience, a girl acknowledged Shinobu by giving her a polite wave. Her name is Akiko and she is Shinobu's only friend in class. Akiko is an inch taller than Shinobu, and has short brown hair with a few bangs partially covering her eyebrows. Her eyes are hazel coloured and she has three freckles on each cheek. Like Shinobu she is softly spoken, but certainly less timid than the blue haired girl. At times Akiko can show a great deal of confidence.

Shinobu jogged to her empty desk behind Akiko and sat down.

"Where's our teacher?" she asked her friend.

Akiko turned around and hunched her shoulders. "No idea. He's never usually this late."

With a hint of concern, Shinobu looked at the clock above the whiteboard. The lesson should have started five minutes ago. However, she did not have to wait much longer… for a creak from the door ceased all classroom activity.

At last the door opened and the teacher walked to his main desk. Everyone stared at him in surprised silence. He didn't look like the teacher the students were used to seeing. As a matter of fact, he looked far too young to be even classified as a teacher. This person had scruffy black hair and rectangular glasses. He wore a grey suit, black shoes, white shirt and a blue tie.

Akiko looked at the new teacher with widened eyes. However, she looked nowhere near as surprised as Shinobu. Shinobu gasped so loudly she had to cover up her mouth.

The teacher cleared his throat before greeting the students. "Um… erm… hi everyone! Your old teacher has called in absent, so I have filled in on his behalf! Ah! Oh yeah! I almost forgot! My name is Keitaro Urashima! Pleased to meet you all!"

The class watched, still in silence as Keitaro wrote his name on the whiteboard. Shinobu felt the need to hyperventilate. Keitaro… _Senpai _being in the same class as her. It was wonderful, yet bewildering at the same time! What was he doing here? Was he even qualified to be here? Shouldn't Keitaro be studying with Naru? Her mind was somewhere between a meteor storm and a four way truck collision.

Akiko twice tapped a finger on her lips… until she remembered his face. Akiko had visited Hinata-Sou a couple of times, and like the tenants, she too was a victim of Keitaro's accidental perverted ways.

Akiko turned around to face Shinobu. "Hey Shinobu-chan? That's Urashima-san isn't it? I didn't know he worked part time as a teacher!" she whispered to her.

Shinobu was still in bemused wide-eyed mode. "N-Neither did I…" she replied softly.

"Oh… hi Shinobu-chan!" Keitaro noticed and greeted her with a big wave.

Shinobu's mouth hung agape as all the students stared at her. This moment, right there, had to be on her top ten list of most embarrassing things that have happened to her.

"Um… hi Senp… Sensei…" she replied whilst facing her desk (the only safe place to look at).

Keitaro paused for a second before he decided to draw an extra large smiley face next to his surname. Most of the young teens gave Keitaro a dirty look. The student's first impressions of their new teacher; a geek trying to be cool and failing miserably.

"Now today, I'm going to teach you all about… sex education!" said Keitaro, "So I need a girl volunteer to come forward and strip off! That way we can all learn about the female anatomy!"

The entire classroom turned white.

Everyone was in dire shock and Shinobu was on the verge of a heart attack.

"_S-S-S-S-SENPAI?!?" _she thought with fear.

Suddenly, Keitaro burst out laughing.

"Ha ha ha! I'm joking! I'm joking!" he said, waving both his hands.

The class simultaneously sighed, though they were still etched in fear. That had to be the most revolting joke they ever heard… and from a teacher no less.

"Ahem!" Keitaro cleared his throat, "Instead, we're going to do a ten question pop quiz!"

Okay, that was more like it, everyone thought, though the girls were still recovering from what he said earlier. Pop quizzes were the standard armament for teachers these days, and it seemed like Keitaro remembered a thing or two during his junior years. Keitaro handed a sheet of paper to each desk. When he handed the paper to Shinobu's desk, Keitaro decided to further embarrass the poor girl by ruffling her hair. Shinobu's face turned into a ripe plum, and some of the class were now wondering if there was a relationship between them.

"Okay class, you have ten minutes to finish! Best of luck!" Keitaro said after returning to his desk.

The students got their pens ready and looked at the quiz sheet. They continued staring at it. Their mouths dropped.

One student looked at the first question. It read; how many butt hairs does Naru Narusegawa have? There were four available answers; 'one', 'sixteen', 'twenty,' and 'Naru's butt is so hairy it needs to be shaved with a chainsaw.'

Akiko skipped the first three ludicrous questions and moved onto the forth. The fourth was equally as ludicrous. It read; why is Motoko Aoyama such a stubborn bitch? One of four possible answers was; 'because she has a turtle shell stuck in her prostate.'

Shinobu's mouth remained open as her eyes slowly moved down the list of questions. Thankfully she didn't find any questions regarding herself, but they were alarming enough to have her gasp a couple of times. She slowly filled the boxes, though she knew each one was just a complete guess on her behalf.

"Time up!" Keitaro shouted, "Drop your pens now!"

As Keitaro collected the papers, the classroom ambience was mostly filled with confused whispers…

…which later turned into loud gasps when Keitaro opened the classroom window in order to throw the test papers outside.

"Weee!" said a joyous Keitaro, watching as all the test sheets drifted away with the wind.

Shinobu was on the verge of fainting. She wanted to stand up and ask Senpai the meaning of all this. Unfortunately her legs, mouth and mind were frozen at the time. However, another, braver female student took her place.

"What's the point of doing a test, if you're just going to throw the lot out of a window?!" the girl stood up and protested. Judging from her posture and confidence, this girl must be the class representative.

Keitaro tilted his head and simply replied with, "Meh?"

The class rep continued to speak her mind. "Furthermore, these questions didn't make any sense whatsoever! You're meant to be teaching us mathematics, not about how many butt hairs a made up girl has!"

"Oh who cares what you think?!" spat Keitaro, "Look, most of you are going to spend the rest of your lives mixing concrete anyway! Just shut up and sit down… unless you want to be thrown out of the window too?"

The class rep's face turned into a deep blue horror. She quickly sat down in fear of the substitute teacher turning murderous. The class then turned their attention on the white board, since Keitaro was drawing what appeared to be a diagram on it.

"Okay class!" Keitaro said, clapping his hands once to get their attention, "I want you all to rearrange your tables and chairs as shown on the diagram!"

As expected, there was a collection of surprised murmurs.

"No whining! Just do it!" Keitaro ordered.

The students looked at Keitaro with an uneasy stare. At first they thought he was joking, but the way Keitaro crossed his arms told them otherwise. They slowly rose from their seats and started to move their tables and chairs.

"_What is Senpai doing?" _thought Shinobu as she joined in the class activity.

Keitaro heard a muffled sound from his trouser pocket. It was his mobile phone.

"Okay guys I'm just going to make a quick phone call! I expect it all to be done by the time I get back!" Keitaro told his class.

He opened the door and entered the hallway before fishing out his mobile phone.

**-0-0-**

Meanwhile outside town, Naru waited for the halfwit manager to answer her call. She was pissed. One moment, Keitaro told Naru he was just going outside… and that was the last she heard of him! Kitsune was also outside, a slight distance away from her friend. At the moment, Kitsune was talking to some of the town folk, asking if they had seen a man with scruffy black hair and rectangular glasses.

After a few rings on the other end, Keitaro answered his phone.

"Hi Naru!" came the sound of his voice.

Naru reacted immediately. "Don't you 'hi Naru' me! Me and Kitsune have been looking all over for you! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?"

There was a slight pause.

"Kitsune and I." said Keitaro.

"Sorry?!" Naru asked.

"You are meant to say 'Kitsune and I', not 'me and Kitsune'."

For a moment, Naru was lost for words.

"WHERE ARE YOU?!" she shouted again.

Keitaro thought about what to say next.

"I'm in Japan!" he had the nerve of saying.

Naru could not believe the conversation she was having.

"Yeah… I… I know you're in Japan… but where are you?!"

"Okay… I'm in… Haitani and Shirai's apartment!" he lied.

"Who are Haitani and Shirai?" she asked.

"My old friends, remember?"

Naru thought back for a second. Long hair. Glasses. Complete perverts. Otaku rejects.

"Oh them," she realised, "Well… what are doing with those guys? Nothing perverted I hope!"

"Actually I'm not with them," Keitaro argued, "They're working in that theme park, Funland… so I'm all by myself."

"So… how did you get in?"

"I broke in."

"Oh… wait! Why have you suddenly walked away from us, only to break into Haitani and Shirai's room?!"

Naru could hear a tearful sigh on the other end. Little did she know it was all one big act.

"Naru… I'm thinking… of committing suicide…"

Naru's throat seized up.

"Naru? Naru? Are you still there?"

"Y-Yes of course I'm there!" she replied quickly, "What… what are you talking about Keitaro?!"

"I hate my life!" Keitaro shouted (but not so much as to get the school's attention), all I do is get beaten and abused and I'm sick of it! I hate my stupid existence! I'm gonna do it Naru! I'm gonna kill myself by any means necessary!"

Her lips trembled.

"NO KEITARO!! DON'T DO IT!!" screamed Naru, her voice receiving the attention of Kitsune, "I… I-I-I LO… PLEASE!! DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!!"

With a foxy frown, Kitsune walked over to where Naru was. "Naru? What's going on? Is that Keitaro on the phone?" she asked.

Naru ignored her friend for the moment and continued listening to the manager.

"Naru… did… did you just say you love me?" Keitaro said quietly.

"Ye-no! I mean yes!" Naru answered.

"Then prove it!" Keitaro said sternly.

"Huh?"

"Prove it! Meet me at Haitani's and Shirai's apartment… wearing… wearing only your bra and panties!"

Her throat seized up again.

"Also, did I recently hear Kitsune?" asked Keitaro, "Is she with you?"

"Um… yeah…"

"Same applies for her as well!"

"W-W-WAIT!! WE'RE NOT STRIPPING OFF!!" Naru shrieked.

"Hmmmm…" muttered Keitaro, "I wonder where that kitchen knife is…"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I'LL… WE'LL DO IT! OKAY? JUST DON'T DO DIE KEITARO!! PLEASE!!"

Keitaro hung up.

"What the hell was that all about?!" queried Kitsune.

"No time to explain!" ordered Naru, who grabbed Kitsune by the hand before dashing away, "We need to find Haitani and Shirai's place, before Keitaro hurts himself!"

**-0-0-**

After putting his phone away, Keitaro made his way back into the classroom. He realised his timing was near to perfection. When all the students finished their strenuous task, Keitaro stood back and marvelled at the modified room. The chairs were positioned so they formed into a giant circle. The desks (except for the teacher's desk) were all discarded to the bottom-most end of the room, some piled up in rows of two or three. Also, one chair was left with the desks as well.

Akiko raised her hand.

"Hmm? Do you have a question?" asked Keitaro.

"Yeah." answered Akiko, "If you don't mind me asking… why are we doing this?"

Everyone else nodded in agreement, with the exception of Shinobu who was still wondering why Keitaro was here in the first place.

"Why are we doing this?" repeated Keitaro, "I tell you why we're doing this! We… are playing musical chairs!!"

Again, stunned silence was the reaction of the students. You could even see some of them lip saying 'what the hell'.

In an excited manner, Keitaro hurried behind his desk and displayed a CD player from seemingly out of nowhere. He inserted a CD and pressed play. A very jolly melody filled the room. To be more precise, it was the music of 'The Teddy Bear's Picnic' song.

Stunned silence turned into jaw dropping silence. Never has a classroom of students remained so speechless.

Keitaro shouted loud enough so his voice was heard over the music. "Okay everyone! I'm sure everyone knows how to play, but for those who don't, the rules are as follows: when the music stops, everyone must sit down on a chair or they will be out of the game! When the music starts again, one chair will be removed from the circle, until there is only one chair left! The winner… will be excused from math homework for an entire week!"

Everyone looked at one another. The more intelligential students where perhaps the more surprised of the class. They came here to study, not participate in some dumb party game! Seriously, what would their parents think of all this if they told them? As for the other students, they had more a mixed reaction. Some wanted to play, but didn't want to step up to the plate in fear of becoming the only one participating…

…that is, until one boy decided to show some courage. His name is Taisuke and he had short, blonde spiky hair and blue eyes. Despite being thirteen, Taisuke was fairly tall for his age, and was certainly the tallest one in class. He appeared very confident, perhaps even a little cocky for his own good.

As the music played, Taisuke strolled around the circle of chairs without a care in the world. He looked kind of silly since he was the only one taking part.

"Trust Taisuke-kun to start things off." one girl whispered to another. The other girl nodded in agreement.

"Well… I don't know why our sensei is doing this," Akiko said to nobody in particular, "but… it looks like fun, so I'm joining in too!"

"That's the spirit!" cheered Keitaro.

"_Akiko-chan…" _Shinobu thought as her friend joined Taisuke. She was also thinking Senpai was having way too much fun.

Before the other students contemplated joining in or not, Keitaro paused the music from the CD player. Taisuke and Akiko (who was giggling at the time) quickly sat down on the closest chair they could find. Obviously, it was pretty easy for those two, considering they had so many vacant seats to choose from.

Everyone else froze, a few even stopping in mid-breath. They thought about what their new teacher said to them. Whoever wins gets no math homework for a week. That thought cycled through their heads.

No math homework. For an entire week.

With screams and battled cries, the stampede of students plowed into the circle of chairs. One of the more heavyweight students actually clotheslined another boy, just so he could get to a chair before him. Hair was pulled, hands were slapping other hands, and bodies were being swung three hundred and sixty degrees. When the dust was settled, one poor brunette haired girl was left sitting stupidly on the floor. She was the first victim of the game.

Once everyone relaxed themselves, Keitaro removed a chair before resuming the music. Now everyone was walking around the circle, some of them staring at each other with evil eyes. Out of all the class, Akiko seemed to be the only one enjoying herself… and Shinobu still wondered how she got into this predicament to begin with.

Suddenly the headmaster, a bald middle aged man with circular glasses, opened the door and walked into the classroom. He was a no nonsense man with an intimidating physique and serious looking eyes. Obviously the disturbance of music caused him to come in and see what the hell was going on. Keitaro nearly jumped when he saw the headmaster, but amazingly, the students were still focused on the game. Keitaro had to think of something, and fast.

A light bulb appeared above his head.

"…ah… so you see class, particles move around depending on their own structure they inhabit!" he said suddenly, "Solid particles stay compressed without movement, liquid particles are allowed a little momentum, and gas particles are allowed to roam wherever they please! They can even travel in circles if they want to! Just like what you guys are doing!"

The headmaster stroked his chin and nodded approvingly. "It's good to see the students participate in a group activity." he remarked.

Keitaro dropped his jaw. How the Gods did pull that one off?!

"But please lower the volume a little." added the headmaster, "We don't want to disrupt the other classrooms."

"Uh, of course! Sorry!" Keitaro apologised, turning the volume down a notch.

The headmaster nodded again and walked back to his office.

Keitaro breathed a much needed sigh of relief. Then he realised the students were still 'playing', so he stopped the music again.

**-0-0-**

Adrenaline pumped through every segment of Naru's body. Poor Kitsune felt like a low flying kite, as she was still being gripped tightly by her friend.

"Naru, will you _please _tell me what on earth is going on?!" Kitsune begged from her airborne physique, "I feel like barfing, and I haven't even drunk anything yet!"

Naru gasped when the building containing Haitani and Shirai's apartment was in her sight. She never realised just how far away those two really were. Not one to fuss around with keys, Naru crumbled the main door with one punch. After stomping through the corridors, Naru and Kitsune stood by the door leading to Keitaro's friends.

"This must be it." said Naru, trying to act calm.

Kitsune nodded. "Yeah… I mean who else would have Haitani and Shirai's name on their door?"

Naru turned to face her best friend. "Right! Take off your clothes!"

Kitsune's brain did not compute. She tilted her head and said, "Eh?"

"Oh look here! I'll do it for you!"

Kitsune froze as she watched her best friend take off… no, _shred _her clothes from her body, leaving nothing but underwear. Naru then proceeded to do the same to herself.

"N-N-Naru? Is there something you'd like to share with me?!" asked Kitsune worryingly, "I don't want you doing something you're going to regret!!"

"Hush up!" ordered Naru, "And get ready!"

**-0-0-**

After chilling out in their favourite Bowling for Beef restaurant, Haitani and Shirai relaxed back into their apartment, watching Hentai Kitty Meow Meow on television whilst sitting on their favourite comfy couch. Not a care in the world was shared between them. As of why they were here, they both decided to called in sick today, though in all actuality they were just being really lazy. They decided one day off wouldn't do any harm.

The doorbell rang.

"You get it." Haitani told Shirai, his eyes still glued to the screen.

"No, you get it." Shirai told Haitani, "You're closer."

Haitani looked at his legs. His friend was right, he was closer to the door. As he grudgingly got himself up, Haitani made a mental note to sit on the other side of the couch in future. He opened the door.

_Glomp._

For a moment, Haitani thought his face was trapped in a void. It took a good while for him to discover… that the void consisted of two large spherical marshmallows smelling of perfume. The skinny one had to adjust his skull in fear of being asphyxiated. However, he couldn't hide that there was a crying Naru hugging him tightly.

"DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE!!" Naru wailed, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU!!"

Shirai jumped to his feet, which was probably the most exercise he had all day. He gasped upon seeing Naru and Kitsune. Naru was wearing white bra and panties, and Kitsune was wearing… holy shit, she was wearing black lingerie! Okay, so their combined beauty would not match up to Haruka's, but damn, he wasn't going to complain!

Shirai passed out immediately. It was a disturbing sight to see a beach ball spurting out nose blood whilst unconscious. Haitani also had a nosebleed, but that wasn't even half the problem. His nether regions were the equivalent of a draconic claw squeezing the bottom end of a tube of toothpaste.

When Naru realised her grave miscalculation, poor Haitani found himself being punched through the roof.

**-0-0-**

Back in Keitaro's class, havoc was being raised, and Keitaro had to quiet them down a couple of times in fear of the headmaster returning in a less than happy mood. The lesson was nearly over now, but that was okay because now there were only three chairs left. Of course, this means there were only three students left competing; Shinobu, Akiko and Taisuke. The rest of them stepped away from the game, and were cheering for their favourite boy or girl to win.

Some of the students were whispering amongst themselves, but Shinobu could make out what they were saying. They were generally surprised that the blue haired girl had managed to stay in for this long. A couple of the boys were even routing for her, causing Shinobu to lower her head and blush. Shinobu decided that her sudden bout of confidence was influenced by her friend Akiko.

The stoppage of the music disrupted her thoughts entirely. Akiko and Taisuke were very quick in sitting down. Shinobu managed to sit down as well, though she accidentally sat on Akiko's lap instead! When she realised the situation she was in, Shinobu turned bright red. The rest of the class were laughing, but Shinobu sensed something… different about this laughter. It was like they were laughing with her, not at her.

Akiko covered her mouth whilst giggling. "Oh dear! I don't think the rules allow this!"

"Ah-aaaah forgive me Akiko-chan!" Shinobu apologised with multiple bows.

"Sorry Shinobu-chan, but rules are rules!" Keitaro stated.

With an embarrassed nod, Shinobu joined the other end of the class, leaving her friend and Taisuke left in the game. Taisuke glanced towards Akiko and grinned. "Ha! With a girl as my opponent this will be easy!"

"Hmph! We'll see about that!" said Akiko as she crossed her arms.

Keitaro switched on the music for the last time, and the students watched the two finalists circle closely around the solo chair. They were like two lions circling a prized hunk of meat. They dared not take their eyes off the competition, for if they so much as blinked, there was a chance the music would stop, and they would lose the game. It was all or nothing.

The music stopped. With equal speed, Akiko and Taisuke rushed to the chair, but were so occupied with winning that they actually clashed heads and fell backwards onto the floor! With all the desperation they could muster, the two readied themselves back up and started to wrestle. Both of them gripped each other's hands. Taisuke, being taller and stronger than everyone else, was surprisingly having a hard time forcing Akiko into submission. Akiko's will and desire not to lose was nothing short of impressive.

The screams and cheers grew louder. Naturally the boys wanted Taisuke to win and the girls wanted Akiko to pull of an upset victory. Keitaro grit his teeth. The loudness of the class was becoming harder to control.

However… everyone ceased movement and speech when the door blasted open. Five police officers and one man, wearing only a vest and shorts, rushed into the classroom.

"THAT'S THE MAN!!" shouted the person wearing a vest and shorts, "THAT'S THE ONE WHO AMBUSHED AND KNOCKED ME OUT WITH A CROWBAR BEFORE TAKING OFF WITH ALL MY CLOTHES!!"

Everyone in class gasped. They knew who this man was straight away. With hair overshadowing her eyes, Shinobu watched the disaster unfold. Her open mouth was smiling in a disbelieving way. She could only stare as the policemen wrestled Keitaro to the ground whilst her near naked math teacher was hurling countless words of abuse at him.

"Heh heh. Look at that." said Shinobu, pointing towards the sorry state of Keitaro being dragged away, "Senpai is going to jail."

Akiko quickly walked over to Shinobu and waved a hand over her face. "Shinobu-chan? Are you okay?"

"Senpai… going to jail." Shinobu repeated.

Poor Akiko wondered if her friend was ever going to return to her normal self.

**-0-0-**

Naru was livid. There was no other way to describe it. Right now, her fists were clenched hard enough to punch a hole through a tank. It was bad enough Keitaro tricked them into believing he was going to kill himself. It was made even worse when they had to walk all the way back home wearing their underwear, but Naru and Kitsune were so enveloped in anger that they didn't even care crowds of people were staring at them.

"You don't think he was hiding in his room all this time, do you?" Kitsune asked.

"Hmph! I don't know," growled Naru, "but if he has returned he is seriously in a world of trouble!"

Naru's mobile phone rang, to which she answered it straight away.

"Hi Naru! It's me again!" said Keitaro on the other end.

"KEITARO!!" shouted Naru, "YOU HAVE SOME NERVE RINGING ME UP!! I SWEAR YOU BETTER KNOW HOW TO HIDE, BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU…"

"Um, listen Naru." Keitaro interrupted, "You're not going to believe this… but I'm calling from the police station. Can you bail me out please?"

"…"

"Naru? Are you there?"

Naru crushed the phone and threw it into a bin.

…

_Author: A quick rundown on a couple of the characters. Akiko appears in the anime, and Taisuke is an original character made for the sake of this chapter only. As far as I'm aware, Shinobu and Kaolla are in separate classrooms, though I could be wrong… but since this is a story that doesn't take itself seriously, I'm not too fussed anyway._


	8. Hinata Sailors Unite!

**Day 08 - Hinata Sailors Unite!!**

Kitsune stretched her arms and grinned into the afternoon sun. "It sure was nice of Keitaro treating us to a movie!" she said happily.

Naru nodded. The movie lasted two hours, and she admitted she enjoyed every minute of it. She did arise suspicion however.

"Kitsune…" she began to say, "…aren't you a little… suspicious that he gave us movie tickets… without wanting to go himself?"

As the two of them walked together, Kitsune closed her eyes and thought about what Naru said.

"Nope! Not really!" the fox replied.

Naru sweat dropped. There were times when her friend was a little _too _carefree for her liking.

"Well, maybe he just wants us out of the house so he could concentrate cleaning the place up!" Kitsune added.

"I guess he does get easily distracted." Naru agreed, her concern changing into a tiny smile. "We should thank him when we get back."

"Naru-senpai! Kitsune-senpai!" came a familiar and nervous voice.

Wondering where the source of the voice was coming from, Naru and Kitsune turned around. Shinobu, Kaolla and Motoko were all jogging towards their direction. The two girls were so occupied with their thoughts they forgot about the time. It was twenty five to five, the same time the younger girls depart from their train.

"Hey guys!" Naru greeted with a wave, "How did school go?"

Kaolla leapt into the air. "Fun!" she replied, but then placed a finger on her lips, "Though I did sleep through the last two lessons, so maybe it wasn't fun!"

Motoko said a few choice words, whereas Shinobu looked to one side and mumbled something along the lines of 'it was okay.'

"Why are you two here?" Motoko suddenly asked with concern. She did feel rude asking this, but she couldn't remember the last time Naru and Kitsune went out on their own accord. Normally, Naru would study inside her room, and Kitsune would watch the horse racing on telly, get drunk and spend the rest of the day sleeping.

"Well…" Naru began to say.

"…we just decided to chill out and watch the big screen!" finished Kitsune, "It was all Keitaro's idea really!"

Motoko gasped and took a ghostly step back. The rest of the girls felt an unearthly chill emitting from her presence.

"Motoko-senpai? What's wrong?" asked Shinobu.

A black fire shrouded Motoko as she spoke. "You… you left Urashima by _himself_?! That means the entire house… is exposed!"

"What do you mean?" asked Naru.

"Think about it!" said Motoko, "Think about all the clothes you keep in your room! Think of all the _underwear_ just begging to be snaffled and sniffed by that four-eyed goblin!"

Shinobu's and Naru's eyes turned into milky white saucers.

"S-S-Senpai would never do a thing like that!" protested Shinobu.

"He would not dare." said Naru, crackling her knuckles.

Motoko refused to waste another second. She drew her sword and dashed with amazing speed.

"H-Hey! Motoko-chan! Wait up!" said Naru, who gave chase along with everyone else.

**-0-0-**

He marvelled at his new wardrobe, his reflection returning the cocky grin shown on his face. Gone was the stupid Keitaro who wore that combination of a jumper, shirt and slacks. Now… he was dressed to the nines in a very fetching black tuxedo with matching trousers. On his feet were the shiniest shoes one would ever lay eyes on. Resting snugly on his head was a black top hat.

Keitaro straightened himself up.

"I think I've outdone myself today!" he said proudly to myself.

**-0-0-**

"Wait up Motoko-chan!" gasped Naru, trying her best to keep up with the swordswoman.

Although Naru was a fast runner, no one could match up to Motoko's speed when she had a purpose in life. That purpose was to eradicate the existence of Keitaro Urashima, also known as the panty thief. Naru ran up the highest stair leading to Hinata Sou, and ceased moving when she realised Motoko was a few metres away from the main door. Naru half expected her to cleave the door in two in order to find the manager, and inflict divine retribution upon him. Instead, Motoko stood still. She stood _completely _still. Naru thought it was a bad sign when Motoko's school uniform melted to her shoulders. Her sword was also released from her grip, making a clanging noise when it struck the ground.

"Motoko-chan, are you…"

It was then Naru's turn to freeze. She had spent so much of this afternoon running that she failed to realise the couch, the television, the living room table, the fridge… nearly every household item was hurled outside into one gigantic junk pile!

Naru clutched her hand over her heart.

"Wh-what… WHAT IN THE DEVIL'S NAME IS GOING ON?!?" she screamed, "ARE WE MOVING HOUSE?!?"

Motoko straightened her uniform and picked up her sword. "I… have no idea," she replied quietly, "I suspect Urashima is behind all this… but… what is he planning?"

The sound of footsteps meant the other girls had finally caught up with the other two. Kitsune leaned forward and breathed deeply, using Naru's arm for support when she did so.

"Dang it! Why do we have to run so fast!" protested the fox, "It's not like we're in a major crisis…"

The moment Kitsune opened her eyes was the moment she swallowed her own words. She, along with Shinobu and Kaolla, all looked around the place with expressions of stark fear.

"Tonight's dinner!" gasped Shinobu, who rang towards the detached fridge.

She opened the fridge door, and the smell was pretty grim. The more perishable items were beginning to melt and look like slop. She quickly closed it in fear of her face turning green.

"If Keitaro is responsible for this, he better have one hell of an explanation!" said Naru.

Kaolla looked up and put a finger on her lips. "Well, we could always order a takeaway!" she suggested.

"We're not just talking about the food!!" retorted Naru.

Naru and Motoko looked at each other and nodded. Motoko had her sword ready and Naru had her right fist clenched. They took three charging steps forward… and Keitaro burst through the door wearing his dazzling tuxedo outfit. The shock was so great that Naru and Motoko fell hard on their butts. It didn't matter whether one was sitting down or standing up though… for all the girls had their wide eyed expressions Keitaro came to know and love. Except for Kaolla. She was bouncing up and down, generally excited at Keitaro's weird new choice of clothing.

Shinobu huddled herself, looking very vulnerable as she spoke to Keitaro. "S-Senpai? What's going on?"

Keitaro closed his eyes and grinned.

"Come inside and I'll show you!" he told the girls.

**-0-0-**

"Oh. My. God." said Naru, the first to enter Hinata Sou, "What… have you done to this place?!"

Keitaro laughed triumphantly, "This, my pretty popsicle, is my greatest creation of all time! This… is the Giant Sailor Warrior Board Game!"

Naru scanned the entire living room in disbelief. Everything was completely cleared out, but that was only half of the trauma. The living room consisted of many painted squares, with the start square shown on the top right of the room, and the finish square shown in the centre. Each square had their own little number on them. The odd numbered squares were painted blue and the even numbered squares were painted green. The whole layout was done in a spiral like fashion, so the players closest to the finish were the ones who were closest to the middle of the living room.

In addition, some of the squares had painted pictures of monster faces on them, and other squares appeared to have large sized envelopes on top of them.

Naru did admit to herself that Keitaro did a really good job with all the paintwork, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was Keitaro had completely abolished their livelihood.

The rest of the girls entered the house at once. The transformed sight caused them to react in different ways. Shinobu, as expected nearly fainted, but Kaolla was… awestruck! She loved the change and wanted to dive into the action! Kitsune just stood there, her mouth normal but her eyes were opened wide enough to speculate the insanity.

And Motoko was having many, many kittens.

"I… I can't believe you done this…" Naru said, slowly and disbelievingly.

"I can!" remarked Kaolla, "This looks like too much fun even for me to handle!"

Kitsune worryingly looked at Kaolla. Whereas the other girls were drained of energy, Kaolla had practically invigorated herself. Kitsune, being the first to witness Kaolla's change, took a weary step back. The foreign girl was frothing at the mouth.

"URASHIMA!!!" roared Motoko, "YOU HAVE DESECRATED OUR HOUSE AND OUR LIVES!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE'LL PLAY YOUR REPULSIVE GAME?! WHAT EVEN MAKES YOU THINK YOU'LL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY?!"

"I fully agree!" said an angry Naru. Some tears fell from her eyes as she shouted, "This is even worse than all the times you've seen me naked!!"

Kitsune frowned and looked at Naru.

"Well… okay, _nothing _is worse than all the times you've seen me naked," realised Naru, "but this is still outrageous!"

"I agree! This is gonna rock!" Kaolla cheered.

"I don't mean outrageous in a good way!" Naru turned to Kaolla and argued.

"I'm reporting this to Haruka-san." Motoko informed everyone.

Motoko gave Keitaro a quick glare before making her way to the living room phone. She picked it up swiftly and dialled the number for the Hinata Tea Shop. There was a brief moment of silence as they waited and waited. Haruka must have been really busy, for after fifteen rings, the phone remained unanswered. Motoko put the phone down.

"No answer." said Motoko to the others.

"Well, how about we cast a vote?" suggested Keitaro, relieved his aunt wasn't going to cause extra problems.

"_Since when did Keitaro become so reckless and open minded?!" _thought Naru, before replying with, "That's… that's fine with us, right?"

All the girls nodded, except Shinobu, who was still worried about the food in the fridge.

"But there's one stipulation!" Naru added, causing Keitaro to frown, "Keitaro, obviously you cannot cast your vote, and should you lose, you have to clean the whole place up, and put it back to what it once was! _And _you'll eat nothing but bread and water for the rest of the month!!"

Keitaro gulped. He spent _ages _turning the house into a gigantic board game! Was all that hard work going to waste?

"Wait! I forgot to mention something!" Keitaro said suddenly, "Whoever wins the game gets to wish for anything they want! You name it, and I'll do my very best to fulfil it for you!"

Naru looked at Keitaro like he was some kind of weirdo… more so than usual. _"A wish?! Who does he think he is? The Fairy Godmother?!"_

Shinobu gasped, but not loud enough for everyone to hear. Pictured in her mind was a romantic candlelit dinner for two. Just herself and Senpai… inside one of the most expensive posh restaurants in Japan… with the gentle sound of a piano, playing in the distance…

Motoko narrowed her eyes after she returned to where the girls stood. If she had won, she very much doubted Keitaro would keep his end of the bargain… that is, unless Keitaro enjoyed being severed limb from limb.

Naru put her hands on her hips. "Well? Do we have a deal or not?"

Keitaro took a deep breath. "Alright, we have a deal!"

With the deal set, Naru turned round and face the four girls. Naru, of course, was also part of the voting system.

"Okay everyone!" Naru announced, knowing full well Keitaro was going to end up cleaning the place head to toe, "For those of us who want to actually _play _this game, put your hands up!"

Kaolla sprung her hand up almost too eagerly.

Naru's face faltered. It was to be expected, she guessed. As long as something looked fun, or had the potential to be fun, Kaolla wanted part of the action.

Naru sighed, "Anyone else?" she asked, hoping Kaolla was the only one without common sense.

Kitsune grinned and slowly put her hand up.

"What?! Kitsune?! Why?!" Naru asked in desperation.

"Oh lighten up girl!" Kitsune replied with a calm grin, "It looks like Keitaro spent ages making this up! It'll be a shame to put it to waste!"

"Hmph! Whatever!" huffed Naru, "It doesn't matter! Only two of you have voted, so that means myself, Motoko and Shinobu will vote against it! Therefore, we win, and Keitaro has…"

"Oh Naaarrruuuu." Kitsune said in a mocking tone.

"What?" asked Naru.

Kitsune pointed to Shinobu. Incredibly, the blunette was on her tiptoes and rose her hand as thought it could touch the sky.

Motoko and Naru looked flabbergasted.

"Sh… Shinobu-chan?!? How could you?!" asked Naru with buckets full of desperation.

Her little body trembled before she shouted a reply, "B-Because I want to have a candlelit… aaah I mean… because I really want to play this game!!"

Keitaro breathed a sigh of relief and smiled.

"Well… what more can I say except… let the game begin!" he said in victory.

Kitsune and Kaolla cheered together.

"Oh wait!" Keitaro realised, "Before we play, there's one more thing you guys need to do…"

**-0-0-**

Meanwhile, Keitaro waited patiently in the living room, whereas the other girls were… well, for some reason, they were all crammed inside Kitsune's room. They were making a whole lot of noise, some were voices of complaints, others were sounds of excitement.

"Why do I have to tie my hair up like this?!"

"Aw Naru! You look super cute!"

"I don't wanna look 'super cute!' I wanna look like me!"

"Aaaauuu! I feel really embarrassed!"

"Venus? Is that tasty?"

"No Su-chan! It's the name of your character!"

"Oh!"

"Look at my legs! I can feel a draft from my thighs!"

"Are you guys done yet?" Keitaro called out.

"Just give us a few more minutes!" Kitsune called back.

Keitaro continued to wait… until…

"Okay! All done!" Kitsune said.

The door opened and the girls entered the living room, one by one. All of them looked very close to the cast of Sailor Moon… with the exception of Kaolla due to her tanned skin, but that wasn't a problem. She looked cute, that was the main thing.

On Keitaro's far side of the left stood Naru, who posed as Sailor Moon herself. Her sailor outfit had a short blue skirt and long blue leather boots, as well as a big pink bow displayed over her white top. Thanks to the aid of Kitsune, Naru even had her hair tied up in twin buns, much like the anime original.

Shinobu stood next to Naru, and she posed as Sailor Mercury. Her outfit, though naturally smaller, was similar to Naru's, only the skirt and the bow were both blue. Since Sailor Mercury had a quiet, reserved attitude already, Shinobu was the perfect candidate for this role.

Motoko, standing in the middle, posed as Sailor Mars. Her outfit consisted of a short red skirt, and a mauve bow was displayed over her white top. However, instead of boots, Motoko wore (much to her extreme distaste) a pair of red high heel shoes. Her face was bright red as well, though Keitaro was sure that was not part of the original character. Motoko always feels embarrassed whenever she wore clothes against her tradition. Imagine how she felt in a cosplay outfit.

Kitsune, standing next to Motoko, posed as Sailor Jupiter. Her outfit consisted of a pink bow over her white top, a short green skirt and matching short boots, exposing her legs as much as Motoko was. The only difference was Kitsune wasn't embarrassed in the least. It actuality, it looked like she was _used _to wearing stuff like this.

Kaolla, the last of the cosplay victims, posed as Sailor Venus. She had a blue bow over her white top, as well as a short orange-red skirt and matching shoes. Kitsune was thinking about tying her hair up with a big red bow (like the character) but since Kaolla's hair wasn't that long to begin with, Kitsune decided against it. It was probably too big for her head anyway.

Finally, everyone wore an attractive tiara over their forehead, each tiara differing for each girl.

"So what do you think?" Kitsune said with a wink and a victory sign, "Have we met your expectations?"

It was a miracle that Keitaro's nose and ears were not bleeding.

"Wow!" Keitaro exclaimed, "You all look perfect!"

Naru, angry beyond natural causes, raised both fists in the air. "Why do we have to all dress up like this anyway?! Do we just exist to fulfil your perverted fantasies?!"

"Well, that is _part _of the reason," Keitaro said honestly, shocking Naru with his choice of words, "but it's mainly so we can give this game that extra bit of depth!"

"Alright! Let's roll!" Kitsune cheered.

"Sausage roll!" Kaolla cheered as well.

"Um… Motoko-senpai, are you alright?" Shinobu timidly asked Motoko.

"I'm… fine." said Motoko, though it was obvious she was anything but fine. For one, nobody had ever seen the girl grip her sword so tightly.

**-0-0-**

Once all the necessary arrangements were made, Keitaro and the girls were all placed on the start of the board game… positioned near the main doors of Hinata Sou. In addition to the game, Keitaro also created an extra large white fluffy dice.

Naru crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "So I take it _we're _the playing pieces?"

Keitaro nodded. "Yep! You roll the dice and walk that many spaces shown on the number!"

"_Seems simple enough." _Naru thought, _"Urrgh! Why am I acting so calm for?! I almost forgot that Keitaro trashed the house in the first place!"_

"So who goes first?" Kitsune asked, "Because I reckon it should be the one who is the most sexiest, that being of course, yours truly!"

"Then Urashima would definitely go last." added Motoko out of spite.

Keitaro lowered his head.

"It's okay Senpai." consoled Shinobu as she gently patted Keitaro's back, "I'm sure she doesn't mean it."

"Thanks Sailor Mercury." Keitaro replied with a smile, "Um, anyway! We'll go by alphabetical order with surnames and work our way down!"

"So I take it I go first." Motoko said, with absolutely no enthusiasm whatsoever.

"Woohoo!" beamed Kaolla, "This is gonna be awesome!"

Keitaro handed the large dice over to Motoko. Motoko gave the dice the weakest throw she could possibly muster. It only clunked twice before landing on… a one.

"A one. Whoopee." said Motoko, taking one step on the adjacent square.

"Gee, way to take the excitement out of the game Motoko." said Kitsune. Motoko didn't reply. Motoko just wanted to finish the game, skewer Keitaro and go to bed.

Kitsune smiled with glee as he jogged over to retrieve the dice. Unlike Motoko, Kitsune rolled it with much more strength.

"Yahoo! Luck of the fox!" Kitsune cheered, happy the dice landed on a six. She walked proudly to square six, and Naru's sour face indicated Kitsune was enjoying herself a little too much.

"It's your go next!" said Keitaro to Shinobu.

Kitsune threw the dice over to Shinobu, and Shinobu gave the dice a rather feeble throw.

"A three." Shinobu said, and she moved three squares. Shinobu then gave the dice to Naru.

Naru showed even less excitement than Motoko. She just dropped the dice, and realised it shown a two, walked two squares forward.

"Hmm? What's this?" Naru asked herself. There was a red envelope shown on square two.

"Aha!" Keitaro replied, "Whenever you see an envelope, you must open it up and do exactly what the note tells you to do!"

"Whatever." sighed Naru. _"Knowing that pervert, the note will probably tell me to strip off my clothes."_

"Read it out girl!" called out Kitsune when Naru revealed the note inside.

Naru unfolded the piece of paper and read the writing shown on it. "It says: Is it me? Or is it getting really hot in here? Remove an item of clothing to cool off."

There was a pause of silence before Kitsune and Kaolla started to giggle.

"WHAT?!?" screamed Naru. "I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS NOTE REALLY _IS _TELLING ME TO STRIP OFF MY CLOTHES!!"

"URASHIMA!!" Motoko turned around to Keitaro and shouted, "IS THIS YOUR PLAN?! TO RENDER EVERYONE NAKED IN FRONT OF YOU?!?!"

Keitaro just laughed nervously. "Aaah, guess you got unlucky Naru-chan!"

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME NARU-CHAN!!!" Naru continued to scream, "WE ARE NOT EVEN ON SPEAKING TERMS, GOT THAT?!?"

"Oh yeah, boots and socks count as one item." Keitaro had the nerve of saying, making Naru's eyes even wider than before.

"Come on Naru! Don't be such a chicken!" Kitsune said with a huge grin.

"I'M NOT A CHICKEN!!" Naru retorted.

With an angry growl, Naru (very reluctantly) removed her boots and socks. In was then Kaolla's turn to pick up and roll the dice, which she did with bags of excitement.

"A three! Same as Shinobu-chan!" she cheered. She walked onto the same space as Shinobu.

"Um… just because we're on the same space, doesn't mean we have to hold hands." said Shinobu nervously.

"My turn now!" said Keitaro as he picked up the dice. Just hearing his voice made Motoko and Naru grit their teeth.

Keitaro rolled the dice and surprisingly got a six.

"So that means I walk six spaces!" he said as he walked and stopped next to Kitsune.

Kitsune, just for fun, decided to hold Keitaro's hand as well.

"WHAT? IS HOLDING HANDS A NEW RULE NOW?!" Naru shouted, realising Kitsune's hand had latched onto Keitaro's.

Kitsune turned around and poked out her tongue. "Oh lighten up Naru! It's only a game!"

"Yeah! It's only a game!" Keitaro repeated, also turning around and poking his tongue.

Naru didn't know how to reply. She expected that kind of behaviour from her friend, but Keitaro acting this way was unthinkable.

"Okay Sailor Mars! It's your go again!" Keitaro said and threw the dice in Motoko's direction.

Motoko rolled the dice and got a six, so she walked to square seven, which of course was the square next to Keitaro and Kitsune. Square seven was also close to the wall, so Motoko didn't have much space in front of her.

"Look here Sailor Mars! There's an envelope on your square!" said Kitsune.

Motoko ignored the fox and looked uninterestingly at the bright yellow envelope waiting to be picked up. She tore it open and read the contents.

"You cross paths with an elderly woman." she read, "Show your respect by bowing lowly until your next turn."

There was silence.

With a sigh, Motoko did as the letter instructed. She bowed lowly and remained in that position.

Already Motoko could hear the covered up laughing from Kitsune.

"What's so funny?!" Motoko demanded, still in that position.

Then she gasped and turned around.

"URASHIMA!!!" she roared, "DID YOU SET THIS UP JUST SO YOU COULD SEE MY PANTIES?!?"

Keitaro laughed nervously. "Haha! Come on Motoko-chan! Follow the rules please!"

Still angry, Motoko resumed the bowing position. "I swear when this game is over, I will kill you."

"KEITARO YOU PERVERTED FREAK!!" shouted Naru, "WHAT IF SHINOBU-CHAN AND KAOLLA-CHAN LAND ON THAT SQUARE?!"

Naru gasped and covered her mouth as she realised something.

"OH MY GOODNESS!! WHAT IF THEY HAD ROLLED A TWO AT THE START?!?"

Again, Keitaro laughed nervously. "Well, rules are rules! _Though… I'm kinda glad they didn't roll a two, or Motoko would murder me for sure."_

Kitsune grabbed the dice, since Motoko couldn't really pass it to her.

She rolled a one.

"My oh my!" said Kitsune in a seductive tone, "It looks like I'm in the same space as Motoko!"

"WHAT?!" shouted Motoko.

"Well sorry Kitsune, but you have to do the same thing as well!" Keitaro told the fox.

"No problem sugar!" replied Kitsune.

Unlike the swordswoman, Kitsune bowed lowly with no hesitation. Now Keitaro got to see two pairs of panties… and Kitsune wore a stunning black number underneath (they were better looking than Motoko's white panties, though Keitaro wasn't really complaining).

"So, hon?" Kitsune asked Motoko, "What's it like down there?"

Motoko's face was _so _red. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO RELAXED WHEN URASHIMA CAN SEE OUR PANTIES?!?"

It was then Shinobu's turn. She rolled a five, so she walked to square seven (which was very awkward for her), turned left and walked to square eight. Though she was currently in the lead, Shinobu shuddered when she looked at the rest of the squares, all spiralling eventually towards the middle. There was still a long way to go.

"Great. My turn again." said Naru, sarcasm implied.

She retrieved the dice and rolled another two. After walking to square four, there was a look of distaste on her face when she noticed this square had another red envelope. She opened the envelope and read the contents inside.

"You lose your lucky key ring charm. Go back two spaces to find it." Naru read, "Well that's just great."

She walked back two spaces.

"W… Wait a second…"

"That's right!" Keitaro told Naru, "You have to do whatever's on square two as well!"

And all the girls knew what Naru did on square two…

Kitsune couldn't stop laughing. "Oh man! If only I could see this!"

"Oh Keitaro… do you know what my wish is going to be if I win?" Naru asked Keitaro, taking off her skirt in mid conversation.

Keitaro shrugged. "What?"

"I'M GONNA BREAK EVERY DAMN BONE IN YOUR PUNY BODY!!" Naru roared.

"Oh." said Keitaro, "Well… that's nice!"

"My turn next!" chirped Kaolla, who had been impatiently waiting since her last turn. She rolled a six and dashed so she was one square ahead of Shinobu.

Kaolla looked down on the square and placed a finger on her lips.

"Hmm? There's a monster face on this one…"

"Ah!" said Keitaro. "Watch this!"

He fished out a remote control device from his inside pocket and pressed a big red button. A hologram of a grotesque looking monster appeared right next to Kaolla, causing her (and Shinobu) to jump in surprise.

"I borrowed this from your room Kaolla-chan!" Keitaro told her, "Hope you don't mind!"

Naru could only watch in surprise.

"I don't mind at all!" replied Kaolla, "But… what am I suppose to do?"

"Simple! All you have to do is defeat the monster!" said Keitaro.

Kaolla grinned. From her skirt pocket, she pulled out another remote control and pressed a button. Her bedroom door burst open, and from it flew a Mecha-Liddo-Kun to the scene. It certainly made a change from the usual Mecha-Tamas Kaolla liked to create. The robotic cat thing hovered over the hologram, opened its mouth and launched a salvo of six missiles from its wake. The missiles struck their target and the hologram vanished into smoke.

"Hehe!" grinned Kaolla with a victory sign, "Mecha-Liddo-Kun one, weird monster zero!"

"Well I'm glad someone's enjoying themselves." grumbled Naru.

"Now it's my turn again!" said Keitaro, and he almost forgot that one square ahead of him were the two older girls, Kitsune and Motoko, bending over and showing their perfect behinds.

"KEITARO!! STOP STARING AT THEIR REAR ENDS AND ROLL THE DAMN DICE!!" Naru shouted.

Motoko was so angry that she couldn't even say anything. Her face was still beet red and it looked as though she was about to cry.

Kitsune wiggled her twin cheeks. "Oh Keitaro! I feel so suggestive!" she giggled.

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!!" Naru shouted again.

Knowing this scene will be forever etched into his memory, Keitaro rolled the dice and continued with the game.

…

**-0-0-**

…

The sky steadily turned darker, and the only ambience outside was the occasional gentle breeze that sailed through the trees and the vegetation from the hot springs. However, inside, one could hear the muffled outcries, cheers and protests easily through the main doors of Hinata Sou. Even though much time has passed by, they were so occupied with the game that they completely forgot about eating. Even Kaolla Su.

After much dice rolling and after countless reports of abuse from Naru and Motoko, the game looked to be reasonably close at coming to an end. Kaolla was closest to the middle, and was therefore in the lead, but Shinobu was only a few squares behind her. Kitsune was third and Keitaro followed closely in fourth. Naru was currently in fifth place, and she was thankful for escaping that four square danger zone at the beginning. Motoko was in last place, because when she landed on a monster square, the hologram conveniently revealed itself to be a giant mutant turtle. Motoko had to forfeit three whole turns before she summoned the courage to defeat it, and even then it was a rather feeble accomplishment.

Of course, the other girls had their fare share of humiliations as well. Amongst many other awkward challenges, Kitsune had to do a handstand until it was her turn again (with Keitaro having another perfect view of her panties). Shinobu found herself singing a lullaby to an imaginary baby. Kaolla had to balance a large grapefruit on her head for one minute… and Naru had to do the flamenco, which was made even more erotic due to the absence of her skirt and footwear. Keitaro had listened to so many death threats from her, it wasn't even funny anymore.

Right at this moment it was Kitsune's turn. She rolled a four and moved four squares forward. A yellow envelope was waiting for her.

"I hope I don't have to stand on my noggin again." mused Kitsune as she read the contents, "Let's see… an evil hypnotist, uh hypnotises you and one other selected player to take off an item of clothing. Whatever clothes you decide to take off, the other player must take off that same style of clothing."

Shinobu, Motoko and Naru were all stunned.

"So let me guess this straight." said Kitsune as she thought this through, "If I choose, for example, Motoko… and I take off my top… that means she would have to take off her top as well?"

"That's right!" replied Keitaro.

"Don't you dare pick me." ordered Motoko, in a quiet but scary voice, "Urashima, even for you, this is extremely low."

Kitsune grinned a really sinister foxy grin.

"You know… I could pick Naru… and take off… MY PANTIES!!" she said with a chuckle.

"NOT A CHANCE!!!" screamed Naru, "I REFUSE TO PLAY THIS GAME BOTTOMLESS!!!"

"I guess that is a bit harsh, even for me," Kitsune reasoned with herself, "but… I'll still choose Naru, and take off my top instead!"

Naru's jaw dropped. "Kitsune… I can't believe you!"

Naru tugged at her top, sighed, and removed it. Kitsune did the same, and the two girls ended up revealing their ample cleavages for everyone to see.

"Don't you _dare _look at me Keitaro." growled Naru.

"Dime dot dooking datoo!" Keitaro said funnily, probably because he was pinching his nose at the time.

"_Repulsive male scum." _thought Motoko venomously.

With Kitsune near topless and Naru in only her white underwear, it was then Shinobu's turn to roll the dice. The blunette closed her eyes. The only thing stopping her from receiving the wish was Shinobu's friend, Kaolla. She needed a high number to overtake her. A six, she thought. A six! A six! A six!

She rolled a one. Glumly, Shinobu walked onto the next square, but realised there was a green envelope where she stood. Curiously, she opened it up, and her eyes turned into tiny white dots.

"What does it say Shinobu-chan?" asked Kaolla with eagerness.

Shinobu couldn't believe the words in front of her, but read it aloud nonetheless. "N-Naru is being a whiny old dr-drama queen again! M-Move forward eight sq… squares to avoid hearing her whining!"

Shinobu walked eight squares whilst Naru was speechless. Kitsune covered her laughter and Motoko couldn't believe the disrespect Keitaro was dishing out to the girl.

"_I'm not a drama queen… am I?" _Naru thought to herself.

"Come on Naru! Quit acting like a drama queen!" said Kitsune, as Shinobu timidly offered the dice to Naru.

Naru realised she had a long way to go before she even reached the halfway point of the game, let along the finish itself. Even so, her stubbornness made her refuse to give up. Perhaps it was the chicken remark from Kitsune that made her act this way. Whatever the reason was, Naru saw this as a challenge. The fight was on and she was not going to back down from it.

She rolled a three, and after moving to the third square, she realised there was a yellow envelope waiting for her. Naru figured out that green envelopes were good, yellow envelopes were not so good and red envelopes were just plain nasty.

"Read the letter Naru! Read the letter!" said Kaolla as she bounced up and down. She was having way too much fun!

Naru read the contents. "Let's see… you have landed on a teleportation trap… prepare to be transported to a completely random place on the game?"

"Ta da!" announced Keitaro, as he fished out another remote control device, "Thanks to Kaolla-chan's invention, 'The Living Room Teleportation Device…'

"Version five point four!" added Kaolla, as if she felt it necessary to say that.

"…version five point four…" repeated Keitaro, "…with a press of this button, Naru will be teleported anywhere in the game! Oh… uh, you don't mind me using this do you Kaolla-chan?"

"Not at all!"

"Alright then! Here goes!"

"WAIT!! IS THAT THING EVEN SAFE?!" Naru shouted.

But Naru's protests were in vain. As soon as Keitaro pressed the button, Naru disappeared in a flash of light! Everyone was expecting her to reappear anytime soon… but they couldn't see her. Then… they heard muffled screams from above. Everyone looked up.

Naru… had been teleported midway inside the ceiling! They could see her bare legs desperately struggling to break free. Finally, some of the ceiling cracked and gave way, which made Naru plummet hard on her rear end. Though she had seen better days, her injuries were minor. However… when she realised what square she landed on… she shivered to the bone.

She landed on square two.

"Oh ho! You know what that means?" Kitsune tittered, "You gotta take off either your bra… or panties!"

"Stripper girl! Stripper girl!" was the new nickname Kaolla gave her.

"DOESN'T ANYONE CARE THAT I FELL A GOOD NUMBER OF FEET ON THE FLOOR?!?" complained a very loud and bitter Naru.

No reply, though one could see Shinobu becoming more nervous and Motoko becoming more disgusted.

Naru was seething. As soon as she unfastened her bra, she covered both arms over her assets before letting the clothing drop to the ground. There was no chance Keitaro was going to steal a glimpse of her modesty. No chance.

Kaolla's turn was next. She only rolled a one, and although she landed on an empty square, all she had to do was roll a six on her next go and she would win, providing Shinobu didn't beat her first. Keitaro rolled a four and he too landed on an empty square.

But things got interesting when Motoko rolled a three. A yellow envelope was waiting for her, so she opened it up and read it to herself. She realised it was the same message Naru read from her turn!

"Another teleportation trap?!" she asked herself.

"Well I did put in a few of them." Keitaro replied, "Well get ready Motoko-chan!"

Motoko braced herself in case the worst happened. She didn't fancy the idea on being shoved into a ceiling.

When Keitaro pressed the button on The Living Room Teleportation Device, something that shouldn't of happened… happened. The piece of gadgetry crackled with electricity and exploded right in front of Keitaro's face, no doubt startling him as he dropped the remote on the ground.

"Uh, Motoko-chan?" Keitaro said, looking around frantically, "Are you there? Motoko-chan?"

"Uh oh." said Kaolla with a finger on her lips. "Looks like it malfunctioned."

"Malfunctioned?!" the rest of the girls asked.

Kaolla nodded, and pointed at a pile of sailor clothes where Motoko used to be.

"Has she… teleported?" asked Keitaro.

"Um… I think so." answered Kaolla.

"Do you have any idea _where_?" asked Naru.

The genius tried to analyse the situation. "Well normally, the compressed particles inside the controller mimics the length, width and breadth of this room from a smaller scaled perspective, but in the unlikely event that the controller explodes, for example, right now, the compressed particles are free to roam around wherever they please!"

Keitaro stood there like a moron and simply replied with a 'meh?'

Kitsune scratched her head. "Meaning what exactly?" she asked.

Kaolla rubbed the back of her neck and laughed nervously. "Well Motoko-chan could be… anywhere!"

The girls and Keitaro did not know how to react.

Finally, Naru broke the ice by saying, "Um… why are her clothes still there?"

**-0-0-**

Meanwhile, in Haitani and Shirai's apartment, Shirai tried his best to cook up an adequate dinner for two in the kitchen. Haitani made no attempt to help his roommate, for he had the couch all to himself in the main room. Haitani rested his hands behind his head and contemplated his simple lifestyle.

"Sometimes… I wish a beautiful woman would descend from the heavens and embrace me with love and care." he mused, somewhat poetically for a man of his ineptitude.

He blinked.

Out of all the trillion possible places she could have teleported to, Motoko appeared four metres above Haitani's unsuspecting form. Thanks to gravity, she plummeted straight into him, and her bare breasts were forcefully mashed into his face.

Haitani flailed his arms as he struggled to breath. When he finally summoned the strength to pull her away, the two of them looked at each other with wide eyes and open jaws.

…

…

Motoko's scream was loud enough to rearrange the solar system.

**-0-0-**

"Uh, so anyway, it's my go, right?" said Kitsune as she prepared to roll the dice.

"Whoa!! Hang on!!" Naru protested, "Shouldn't we start _looking _for her?! I mean… she could be in Africa for all we know!"

Kitsune shrugged. "Meh, I'm sure she'll find her way back! Besides, she could use a tan!"

"She could come back as my new big sister!" said Kaolla with glee.

Shinobu would have been worried if she wasn't so focused on claiming her wish with her beloved Senpai.

Before Naru could protest further, Kitsune rolled the dice. She rolled a five and landed on a monster face. Keitaro pressed the hologram remote, and a vision of a zombie Haitani appeared before her eyes. Showing no ounce of effort, Kitsune simply flicked the beast with her index finger and the hologram disappeared. Keitaro sweat dropped. He always regarded Kitsune as being the lazy one.

"_Gee Kitsune, way to show off your skill…" _thought Naru.

"M-M-My turn!" Shinobu nearly screamed. She so wanted to win this game that her expression turned quite scary. If she rolled a high enough number, then she would in fact win the whole game! For her it was do or die time.

She rolled another one and let out the most woeful of sighs. This was made even worse since there was a red envelope waiting for her. Shinobu sweated profusely as she carefully opened the seal and read the letter.

"What does it say Shinobu-chan?" asked Kaolla.

Shinobu stared at the letter for some time before finally replying. Her voice was barely audible. "You failed miserably at your Toudai entrance exams. Go back to the start… and try again."

"Oooh! That's a pretty bum deal." said Kitsune, whereas Naru wondered what the hell Toudai has got to do with the sailor warriors.

Accepting defeat, Shinobu (who had now turned a sickly white colour) walked back to the start with the world on top of her shoulders.

"_Wow, she's taking this pretty seriously." _thought Keitaro, though he had no idea why.

It was then Naru's turn and she rolled a three, escaping the danger zone much to her relief. Naru afterwards gave the dice to Kaolla. This was it, this was the big moment, Kaolla thought. With Shinobu out of the way, Kaolla had no competition left… although she was still capable of landing on the dreaded 'Toudai' square.

Everyone watched as Kaolla threw the dice in an over the top dramatic style. The dice twisted and turned in slow motion… until at last… it landed on a six!

"Kaolla-chan wins!" announced Keitaro. He pulled out a giant party popper and unleashed a spray of multicoloured confetti and string all over the room.

"YAHOO!! YAHOO!!" Kaolla cheered and was leaping all over the place.

Naru slumped on her knees like a rag doll. "Thank God it's finally over." she gasped.

"Well, what are you going to wish for girl?" Kitsune asked with a grin.

Kaolla was so occupied with the game that she completely forgot about the prize at the end. She looked at the ceiling and tapped a finger on her lips. Many ideas circulated inside her head. She could wish for a banana, a giant banana, a giant bag of bananas… the list was practically endless.

"Let's see… I wish… I wish… to play the Sailor Moon game again!!" she answered, with a big bright open eyesmile.

Kitsune punched a fist in the air. "Woohoo! This time, I'm gonna win for sure!"

Shinobu immediately found herself invigorated. The colour returned to her cheeks and her eyes were replaced with orbs of fire. _"Another chance to fulfil my destiny!" _she thought with passion.

Naru… couldn't believe it. She clutched her skull and her eyes turned into two large rotating swirls. She was so occupied with bewilderment, that she didn't even acknowledge Kaolla and Kitsune dragging her crumpled heap back to the start.

"Yay. Yippee. We're playing the sailor game all over again." said Naru, her mind completely in a trance. Her smile looked totally unnatural.

Naru found herself standing up as Kitsune plopped the dice in between her limp arms. Did Naru even realise she was still clad in only her panties?!

"And since Naru is so eager to start the game, why don't we let her go first?" Kitsune suggested with a wink.

"Good idea!" cheered Kaolla and Keitaro.

Naru was still in swirl eyed mode.

Without a second thought, she lifelessly rolled the dice.

…

…

…

She rolled a two.


	9. A Discovery

**Day 25 - A Discovery**

Keitaro gazed at the ceiling with a bored expression on his face. His eyes were half closed and the rest of his body decided to completely shut down. Despite doing absolutely nothing, Keitaro felt the strength slowly ebbing away.

After numerous pranks and countless acts of perversion, Keitaro was rapidly running out of ammunition to amuse himself with. When Keitaro first discovered this time continuum, he thought this would be his biggest opportunity in life. He would explore each day with all the originality he could muster, and break boundaries no person would even consider touching. To put it simply, it was perfect…

…and that was the problem. It was _too _perfect.

Keitaro looked back on all those times he raised havoc. There were too many of them to list, although… a few of the more notorious ones sprung to mind. There was this one early afternoon where Keitaro waltzed into Kitsune's room and politely asked the girl to pay the monthly rent, since the drunken fox had 'forgotten' for the last five or so months. Of course, Kitsune was up to her usual old tricks, and persuaded the manager (by swaying her cleavage) to delay her payment. Soon after leaving, Keitaro returned to her room with many feet of thick rope. Kitsune struggled violently as Keitaro actually had the guts to tie up and kidnap the freaked out girl. Hearing the commotion, Naru attempted to come to the rescue, but Keitaro knocked her out with a wooden chair before she could deliver one of her trademark uppercuts. With Naru out of the way, Keitaro ran all over town carrying Kitsune… before breaking into a car (hurling the driver to the curb) and driving off recklessly at top speed. In the end, the car exploded into a petrol lorry, and the police could only identify their deaths by locating Keitaro's shattered glasses and Kitsune's right shoe.

Another day involved Keitaro walking into the main room… completely naked for all the girls to see. The best part was, Shinobu was just dishing out the food at that very moment. When her eyes made contact with Keitaro's revealed anatomy, Shinobu flew backwards and had the worst nosebleed known to mankind. Even as she turned pale and fainted, the blood would still not end, resembling a dual waterfall of ketchup. It was a miracle she was still alive, though her freakish, unconscious smile looked very disturbing. When a blushing Naru asked (in a disbelievingly squealed voice) why Keitaro was naked, Keitaro simply stated that his clothes were invisible. Even Kitsune gasped and covered her mouth, as though she wasn't mentally prepared for such a sight. Kaolla, unsurprisingly, laughed her head off, making a childish statement that she could see Keitaro's 'banana'. As for Motoko, her eyes were lifeless, and that's how they remained for the rest of the day.

Then came the 'ordinary' days where Keitaro and Naru were studying together. For each day, Keitaro would spend the first fifteen minutes studying as normal, the way Naru would expect him to do. After that time however, Keitaro would suddenly do things that would irritate and stress out the promise girl to no end. One time he 'accidentally' prodded her right breast with his finger. Naru reacted by punching him in the gullet. Another time he laughed manically and started to mess up Naru's beautiful hair. Naru was stunned for a moment, but when she recuperated, she proceeded to strangle the life out of him.

One of the most shocking moments was where, one evening, Keitaro just walked over to Kitsune and casually started to remove her clothes… and this was during dinner time so everyone could witness this insanity. Everyone's jaw dropped, and Kitsune almost felt like screaming. Thank goodness the time loop syndrome was capable of restoring shattered bones. Keitaro shuddered at the thought of Motoko and Naru closing in on him at that time. To sum it up in one word; slaughter.

Suddenly, he heard Naru's voice, distracting him from his crazy memories.

"Um, Keitaro? We all get the impression that you're bored…"

Keitaro, who was spread out like a star at the time, managed to turn his head so he could see Naru.

"…BUT CAN YOU PLEASE GET OFF THE TABLE?!? WE'RE TRYING TO EAT OUR DINNER!!"

"Huh? Oh… right." Keitaro realised.

He sat up and walked casually to his room, whilst the girls never took their eyes off him.

"_What's gotten into him?" _Naru thought with a sigh.

**-0-0-**

Later that night, Keitaro laid back on his bed and contemplated everything that has happened to him. Frustration was starting to kick in. He wanted to do something, _anything _so long as it raised a few eyebrows, but nothing sprung to mind. Later at night, Keitaro heard the voices of Naru, Shinobu and Kaolla. They were all wishing him a goodnight through his door. Keitaro decided to ignore them, pretending he was already asleep hours ago.

That was when Naru, a few minutes later, decided to open the door.

"Okay Keitaro, you can stop pretending to be asleep now." Naru said sternly, _"You can fool the others but you can't fool me."_

Keitaro groaned quietly. Why did Naru have to be such a psychic? He sighed and sat up. By shuffling to one side, he allowed Naru to sit next to him. Keitaro could only stare at his twiddling thumbs, as though he felt ashamed looking at Naru. For the past few days, Keitaro has seen Naru in various and ridiculous costumes, not to mention the countless times he has deliberately seen her in various exposed positions. He still recalled the time he dived into the hot springs wearing Naru's clothes, not to mention what he did afterwards.

Naru changed her voice and expression to one of concern. "What's wrong?" she asked, "You've been acting strange all day."

"_I've been acting strange most days." _Keitaro thought.

Realising Naru was waiting for an answer, Keitaro took a deep breath and sighed. What was he to say? He never liked lying in front of anyone, but in this case, truth really was stranger than fiction. Still, he felt as though he needed to say something.

"Naru… I…"

Keitaro felt a familiar, warm sensation in his right hand… a comforting, pleasing… and yet somewhat… forbidden feeling. He decided a squeeze was in order, so he squeezed softly… then with a little added strength. He then tilted his head up and looked at Naru. Naru was in dire shock, and truth be told, so was he. Keitaro's right hand just… reacted by its own will. At last he managed to let go, though it was like removing cello tape from a sphere of superglue.

"K-Keitaro?! What… what were you doing!?" Naru asked in disbelief, though she had a pretty clear understanding of it all.

Keitaro could feel an all too familiar scene unfolding before his very eyes. Keitaro would say sorry a million times. Naru would smash him in the air. Yeah, he thought, this was going to get ugly.

"SORRY!!" Keitaro apologised frantically, "IT WAS A REFLEX I SWEAR!!"

Naru rose from his bed and took a step back. With her mouth hung agape, she stood there, stunned.

"You… you mean every time I sit next to you, you… you just… instinctively want to grope me?!" she asked, barely finding truth from her own words.

Keitaro found himself in a maze without an exit. "I… no! Nonono! I didn't mean it like that!" he protested, retreating his hands as he spoke. At least… he _tried _retreating his hands…

…but he couldn't. In fact, through a misguided reversal of thought, Keitaro did the exact _opposite _of retreating his hands, lunging himself forward and fiercely massaging her twin delights.

"K-KEITARO?!?!" Naru shouted, now doubly distressed.

Keitaro, at this time, could only think of one word to say. One word that would overrule and end all existing arguments.

"Boooobies…"

**-0-0-**

It was a well known fact that a Naru punch to the skull would always hurt like hell, but this punch made all other punches feel soft and fluffy in comparison. The good news is Keitaro flew in a more horizontal direction, meaning he didn't have too far to travel back home. In fact, his not so predetermined destination turned out to be the small city just outside Hinata Sou, taking only twenty minutes or so to walk back. The problem was, were the girls going to allow him to come back? It was a high possibility Naru already informed the other girls of the pervert known as Keitaro Urashima. No, scratch that, Naru would never take a full on grope and accept the consequences.

Keitaro wearily stood up as he felt the cold rush of air from the black sky. For lack of a better word, he felt like crap, physically and mentally. Once upon a time, when he first entered Hinata Sou, Keitaro wanted to prove to everyone that he wasn't a pervert, merely just accident prone. Unfortunately, it was due to his accidents that led everyone to believe he was a pervert. Now… after abusing the time continuum… he, Keitaro Urashima, was an accident prone pervert.

He looked at his hands, the left one followed by his right. He could not believe the lack of control he had over them. His hands have been groping breasts for such extended periods of time… that now, he felt the need to grope on a daily basis. Even now his hands were making a squeezing motion, as though they were holding a pair right this instant.

"What have I become?" he said quietly.

"What _have _you become?" replied a voice.

"If you are you, then you haven't become anyone else other than yourself!" came the voice of another.

"You are what you are." said a third voice.

Keitaro gasped and turned around. Standing in front of him were three old men, dressed in traditional Japanese robes. He recognised their identities already. They were the three spirits that often inhabit this place, though nobody has a clue as of why (with the exception of Keitaro's grandmother, perhaps). There has been a few times in his life where Keitaro has unceremoniously encountered with them… and each time has been more unusual than the last.

"What do you three want?" Keitaro groaned, cutting to the chase.

The man in the middle approached him. "Do you have the time?" he asked.

"Huh?" Keitaro said with a frown, before glancing at his wrist watch. "Oh, it's eleven o'clock… _wow… that late already? I must have been unconscious for a while."_

As quick as a flash, Keitaro found his watch being unfastened, courtesy of the old man's nimble fingers! Keitaro watched in further surprise as the trio were playing catch with it!

"HEY! What are you doing?!" Keitaro asked angrily. He tried to catch the watch himself, but the old men were too fast for him.

"We're making time fly!" happily said the first old man.

"Time flies when you're having fun!" sung the second man, just as he caught the airborne watch.

"Well I'm definitely _not _having fun!" complained Keitaro, lunging for the thrown watch, but falling an inch short of it.

"That is because, for you, time is going around in circles." reasoned the third man.

Keitaro stood there, awestruck from the words of the old man. The thrown watch bounced off his forehead and fell onto the pavement, chipping the screen when it made contact.

"Whoops, my bad." the old man apologised.

For a moment, Keitaro's hair overshadowed his eyes. Then he looked up, slowly, and stared at the group of spirits.

"Do you three… know of my condition?" he asked.

The first old man stroked his beard. "Hmm? Condition?"

"Do you have body odour?" the second questioned.

"_You're _the one with body odour!" the third said to the second, "And that's saying something since you're not alive anymore!"

"I'M BEING SERIOUS!" shouted Keitaro.

Keitaro's voice commanded the attention of the three. They decided not to mess around with the boy any longer. They all looked at each other and nodded.

The first old man flapped his wings like a bird. "If you wish for time to fly…"

The second stood on his tiptoes and pretended to look for something far away. "…you must simply find…"

And the third started to draw a large imaginary circle with his finger. "…the key to unlock the circle."

A fierce wind sailed through the spirits, and once the elements have faded away, they too have disappeared. Keitaro scrambled to where the old men once stood, and the silence made him feel alone again.

"Wait!" he panicked, "Unlock the circle? What do you mean?!"

The still air was his answer, the still air… and nothing more. He found an empty drink carton nearby and kicked it to release his pent up anger. First Keitaro was depressed, now he was confused. What else could go wrong, he thought to himself. His stomach emitted a low, lingering rumble. Great, he thought. Depressed, confused… and hungry.

Lightly clutching his stomach, Keitaro decided to venture towards Haruka's tea shop, just for a quick snack and a chat if anything else. Haruka was always hard to get hold of during the morning and the afternoon, but during the night, she didn't mind her nephew's company in the least. Besides, Haruka always had the odd cup to clean, even at this late hour. Keitaro was surprised at himself really, because during those repeated days, not once had he visited his aunt. Then again, with all the excitement Keitaro has indulged himself into, it didn't come as a shock after all…

…but what _did _come as a shock was the appearance of the tea shop itself. Why on earth was the shop bursting with flashing lights and dance music?! Keitaro thought he wandered to the wrong place, but nope, there was the tea shop in all its glory. The windows flashed in neon colours of red, yellow and green, hypnotic enough to give any sane person a headache. Keitaro could not see behind the windows, for the curtains were drawn all the way, not even exposing the tiniest of gaps. The ambience, other than the pumping soundtrack, consisted of three, perhaps four female voices, cheering and making other loud noises, though not clear enough to pinpoint what they were saying.

Keitaro took a few steps back, thinking maybe the unknown group were celebrating somebody's birthday. It couldn't be Haruka's, because her birthday already passed by, so it must be one of her… friends? Haruka knew a lot of people, but she rarely ever 'hung out' with anyone, least not to his knowledge. Keitaro was about to turn around and leave, thinking he didn't want to become a burden… but a nagging thought inside told him otherwise. After a brief mental engagement with himself, he decided to see what was going on.

He took three steps forward… and was interrupted by an all too familiar flying turtle. It was Tama, Mutsumi's 'gift' to Keitaro and Naru before they ventured their separate ways. However, since Tama set foot onto the dormitory of Hinata Sou, the poor turtle, day after day, found herself being chased to hell and back from Kaolla, whose newfound mission was to capture and boil Tama into turtle soup. This was probably the reason why she was perched up on the shop roof, to get away from that hungry foreigner.

Keitaro smiled at the thought of Mutsumi. He admired her ditzy, yet carefree nature, but it was a while since he last saw her. He wondered when their paths would cross again.

Keitaro was about to wave a greeting to Tama, but instead of returning the wave, Tama flew at a strong speed and clonked Keitaro on the head! Undoubtedly surprised, Keitaro staggered back and acknowledged the mark where Tama attacked him. Some return greeting, he thought.

"Tama-chan! What did you do that for?!" Keitaro complained.

To which Tama replied with, "Myuh! Myuuh!" ('Please Keitaro! Don't go there! I beg of you!')

Unfortunately, Keitaro was not very fluent when it came to speaking with turtles.

"Tama-chan! Let go of me!"

"Myuuuh! Myuuuh!" ('Please! For the love of God, go back!')

"LET GO!!"

"MYUUUH!! MYUUUH!!" ('Not a chance, glasses boy! It's for your own good!')

For such a little critter, Tama's strength was extraordinary. She managed to bite into the cloth of Keitaro's back… but her grip wasn't quite enough. Keitaro used all of his willpower and struggled to get to the door, whilst Tama was still attached to him. Unsurprisingly, the door was locked, but Keitaro remembered her aunty's old trick. Underneath the welcome mat was a spare key which Haruka always kept in case she lost the original. With Tama still being a nuisance, Keitaro scooped up the key, but hesitated instead of unlocking the door. He remembered what the old men said to him regarding the key. Keitaro honestly thought the key would not be one of a literal sense, but more of a metaphorical solution… but whatever. A key was a key in his eyes.

However, now was not the time to indulge in riddle guessing. He inserted the key, turned it sideways and pushed the door open.

…

…

…

…

It was an image that would forever burn in his mind.

Keitaro never did learn to knock on doors before entering them.

The music blasted through the open door… whilst everyone else struck to immediate silence. Tama, defeated, released Keitaro's top and placed a flipper over her face. Keitaro had a feeling the turtle knew about this all along.

A large, circular wooden table was placed in the middle of the room. Surrounding the table were Haruka's friends she knew when they were young; three drunk and very attractive ladies, each lounging on a comfortable chair. One was wearing an extremely tight fitting dress, another was wearing a cosplay outfit of some unknown origin, and the third was wearing a leather top and blue jean shorts. All of them had extremely busty breasts to say the least.

But on _top _of the table… was a woman all too familiar. Haruka was easily the largest attraction compared to the rest of them. Guessing from the ambience when he was outside, Haruka was attempting to dance on the table… at least, she _was _attempting to dance on the table.

And her dancing wasn't the disturbing part.

The disturbing part… were all her clothes, which, at one point, Haruka was wearing about five minutes ago. All of her clothes were strewn around the room. Her left shoe (with sock inside) was thrown to the topmost right of the room, and her right shoe (again with sock inside) was flung somewhere in the middle-right. Her top lied in a heap next to the round table. Her trousers, again in a heap, was a few feet away from her top. As for her bra and panties… well… one of the three girls was actually _wearing _Haruka's bra on top of her head…

…and her panties… Haruka's vacant, white panties were a mere inch away from where Keitaro was standing. Keitaro had no idea Haruka could wear something so… tiny looking.

It was at this stage Keitaro's mind divided into two separate entities. The first entity told him that Haruka was dancing naked for her lively friends. The second entity… wanted to acquire a pitch fork to gouge his poisoned eyes out.

Haruka was so stunned, her hands did not bother covering up that which needed concealing.

For her and her nephew, it was an experience beyond the boundaries of mortifying.

…

…

…and then Keitaro had a nosebleed.

**-0-0-**

…

…

…

"Aww! Isn't he just adorable!" Yui said sweetly, pulling Keitaro's cheek with her thumb and index finger. Yui was the woman wearing the tight dress, so tight her breasts would explode if someone so much as prodded her. She had longish, untied brown hair and wore round glasses.

A young lady named Temaru wrapped her arms around Keitaro's stationary body. Keitaro learned that Temaru's boyfriend had only recently proposed to her, so Keitaro gathered it wasn't a birthday bash, but a hen party instead. Temaru was the one wearing the cosplay outfit, which somehow matched well with her short black and spiky hairstyle.

"Perhaps I should dump my fiancé and marry him instead! He's so young and innocent!" Temaru suggested, which resulted in herself and Yui giggling like mischievous little schoolgirls.

Meanwhile, Tanya, a woman of American heritage, transformed into an absolute drama queen. She was the oldest of the four, her age being thirty one, and she was crying her eyes out because she wasn't engaged yet. Of course, she was the lady wearing the leather top and jean shorts. She had long blonde hair which was tied back in a ponytail.

"Waaaagggh!! I'll never get married! I'll get old and lonely and depressed!" Tanya sobbed, "Hey! Haruka's nephew! Do you think I look old and lonely and depressed?"

"Uh…" came Keitaro's unfinished answer. He was having a devil of a time sitting next to three Kitsune replicas.

"Oh don't worry Tanya-chaaan!" slurred Temaru, "You can share my fiancé if you want!"

Tanya at once thrilled with laughter, completely negating her previous emotion.

Whilst the nonsensical conversation turned even more nonsensical, Haruka, now fully clothed, simply sat still. Since Keitaro's arrival, Haruka had not muttered a single word. She never took her eyes off that glass of beer, and she had been drinking that same glass of beer for the best part of an hour.

Keitaro dug his nails in the palm of his hands. He felt the urge to grope some serious boobage but desperately tried to suppress his desires.

"Heeeey… were you staring at my cleavage?" Yui grinned like the proverbial Cheshire Cat.

Keitaro gulped and stared at the table. He only glanced at her breasts for a split second!

Temaru giggled again. "Looks like Kei-kun is a pervert!"

"So…" Tanya started to ask, her eyes narrowing to lusty slits, "Which of us do you think has the biggest breasts?"

This only made his nails dig deeper into his palms. Keitaro thought he was going to end up with bloody hands.

Before Keitaro conjured up an answer, three pairs of flesh filled balloons coexisted all over his body. Keitaro didn't know which part of him would explode first. Whilst all this was happening, Haruka made no effort to stop her flamboyant friends, and Keitaro briefly wondered if she would have done if he hadn't caught her naked in the first place.

"_Breasts… too… big… not sure… if I can… make it…" _Keitaro thought as he struggled desperately for a breath of fresh air.

His hands trembled. He couldn't take it much longer. His hands _needed _something to grope! They _ached _for something to grope! Already Keitaro felt dirty for thinking such thoughts… but… what would it matter anyway? Tomorrow, Haruka's friends wouldn't even know the name, 'Keitaro Urashima'. What did he have to lose?

Perhaps a tiny squeeze wouldn't do much harm…

"Oh fuck! Look at the time!" Tanya realised as she looked at her silver watch, "I've got an early work-shift tomorrow as well! Damn it!"

Temaru swallowed a large mouthful of beer. "Mmmgh!! Me too!! My boss will kill me if I'm late again!"

"And I've got a date with a friend of my brother's friend!" remembered Yui.

Keitaro was amazed by the way they all remembered their problems at the same time, and how they instantly dispersed their drunken haze. In a flash they all stood up, which caused Keitaro to nearly faint from exhaustion. The three friends said their goodbyes to Haruka, though Haruka, still suffering from that previous disaster, only managed to wave at them without saying a word.

"Nice seeing you Kei-kun!" said Temaru before leaving.

"Don't be a stranger, cutie pie!" called out Tanya.

Yui gave Keitaro a very flirty kiss on the cheek before going off with the other two. "My number's on your sleeve if you want to call me!" she said, with added seductiveness.

Keitaro looked at the three women staggering off with a dazed, confused expression. Even to this day, Keitaro just never understood girls. Some would avoid him like the plague, others would attack him on sight, and a handful of them would kiss the guy without any hesitation. Girls sure were complicated.

Keitaro's eyes shifted to the right. He almost forgot Haruka was still sitting there, though in all actuality, her invisible like presence made her fairly difficult to notice. He changed his dazed expression into his usual nervous laugh whilst rubbing at the back of his head routine. After having seen his aunt starkers… what was he to say? How the hell could he say anything?! Right now, the only intellectual thing he could come up with was 'Haruka's boobies for the win'. He was seriously amazed that beneath that apron and thick top were two giant, fleshy, perfectly sized… NO! Nonono! No… the last thing he wanted was another nosebleed.

He took a deep breath… and tried to say something, anything, so long as it was just an ordinary, plain, vanilla conversation.

"Uh…"

"I think I hear the tap running." Haruka interjected.

Keitaro watched as Haruka rose to her feet and walked briskly to the kitchen. He sighed and slumped forward. Then he realised Yui's glossy pink lipstick was still lingering on his cheek, so he licked his thumb and wiped it away. Ten minutes later and Haruka returned to her seat with a cup of coffee; extra caffeine and extra sugar.

Keitaro fidgeted his thumbs and tried again.

"Um…"

Haruka swallowed the coffee down in two mouthfuls and swiftly stretched her arms far and wide. "Wow, look at the time. We should hit the hay."

"Ah… …yeah." Keitaro said, preparing himself to leave, "Goodnight Aunt Haruka."

Haruka didn't have the energy or will to slap him with her fan.

Keitaro got up from his chair but tripped over a glass bottle. He toppled onto Haruka and grasped onto her breasts for support. The two of them crashed to the floor, and Keitaro landed right on top of her… hands still attached on her breasts.

…

**-0-0-**

…

Haruka slammed the door shut before Keitaro had a chance to do it himself. After stepping away from the door, Keitaro placed a hand over his forehead. Whilst seeing Haruka's friends was an… interesting experience, he could never hide the experience of seeing Haruka herself. What with the troubles he had with Naru, not to mention riddling mad old men thrown to the mix… this was going to be one hellacious night.

The sound of Tama suddenly negated his anguish, and for some reason, the happy go lucky turtle was looking quite distressed. Keitaro groaned and thought, what now? He glanced upwards and saw Tama wrestling vigorously against her robotic counterpart, Mecha-Tama, version heaven-knows-what. Naturally this confused the already confused manager. Why would Kaolla send off a Mecha-Tama this late at night? Of course, it must have been Kaolla who created the turtle in the first place, since no one else would have the brains or imagination to make one.

The struggling Mecha-Tama tilted its tiny robot head in order to locate its new target. Normally, it would have unleashed a salvo of rockets at the poor ronin, but much to Keitaro's surprise, it managed to release its grip from the original Tama… and retreated! Tama decided to punish the cowardly robot by squirting a long stream of water all over it, causing it to short circuit and slow down considerably.

Keitaro gripped his right hand into a fist. _"For some reason… I feel like I need to give chase…" _he thought, _"…but… why? Knowing my luck, this might land me into even bigger trouble… ….but something at the back of my mind… just tells me to follow it…"_

Obeying his instincts, Keitaro ran after the escaping Mecha-Tama, using up whatever energy he had left. Tama would have joined in the chase, but she was a little exhausted after her tussle. As for Mecha-Tama, despite being short circuited, it still managed to out speed the manager, but Keitaro wasn't going to give up. Something inside told Keitaro that this Mecha-Tama was the key.

After much running and panting, Keitaro finally returned to the flight of stairs leading to Hinata Sou. However, a commanding and resentful voice caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

"Urashima… you have some nerve showing your face here…"

Keitaro watched as Motoko emerged from the shadows, her katana drawn… and her vengeful eyes locking onto his. Her presence could be described as deeply sinister.

"Um… M-Motoko-chan? Can we t-talk another time? I… I need to do something…" Keitaro tried saying.

"…_**LIKE REPENT FOR YOUR SINS?!?"**_

The heir of the Shinmeiryuu leapt gracefully into the sky, the moon illuminating her poised-to-strike blade. She chopped the air down with considerable force… and delivered a most malicious cutting demon strike. With a wave of fiery red energy, the technique caused Keitaro to sail weightlessly into a nearby building, almost crushing the structure upon impact. When the dust dispersed and disappeared, Motoko stood only a few feet away from him.

Keitaro's immortality saved him this time. He managed to stand on his feet, but his head felt dazed from the sudden impact.

"Naru-senpai has informed me of your vile and perverted ways. To openly molest another is an act truly deplorable and unforgiving. Even as I speak, she is still crying in her room..." Motoko told him.

She lowered her stance and closed her eyes.

"…there was a time where I started… to trust you. I thought you were the first person to lift my unconquerable hatred of men… but I was wrong. I even thought that I had… feelings for you… but then I realised… that was a foolhardy mistake on my behalf."

Keitaro could not help but feel a little surprised. He never knew Motoko was even capable of seeing him in such light, let alone expressing herself in such a way.

"Motoko-chan…" he started to say.

But it was too late. Her eyes lit up, and she was overcome with emotion.

"NO! NO MORE WORDS URASHIMA! THIS IS THE END…"

She raised her sword high, and charged with the ferocity of a thousand raging bulls.

"…SECRET TECHNIQUE…"

Keitaro had 0.43 seconds to react to the threat… and did so by unleashing an incredible counter attack.

He rushed forward… hugged her… and kissed her passionately on the lips!!

With widened eyes, Motoko froze for a second, and her sword fell from her once strong grip. Her face turned a reddish purple, and her eyes transformed into two gigantic swirls. Then… her kendo outfit started to melt from her shoulders. Finally she collapsed in a motionless heap, spread out like a snow angel, eyes… still swirling.

"I… can't believe I did that…" Keitaro said in disbelief.

**-0-0-**

He thought he was used to those mountainous steps by now, but the crazy events that took place only served to make the journey even more tiring. He didn't even know why he was running. Mecha-Tama should have easily escaped by now… but as Keitaro reached the top… he was amazed to find the robotic critter still lurking around! As luck would have it, Mecha-Tama was very low on battery juice (probably due to Tama's water attack), and so to save energy, it slowed down to the speed of, ironically, a turtle.

Mecha-Tama hadn't recognised the manager, for it was too busy focusing on whatever goal it needed to accomplish. This gave Keitaro the advantage of sneaking up behind it. Was this really 'the key' the old men were referring to?

Keitaro took a stealthy step forward…

…and stopped.

Hidden amongst a cluster of trees… was a passageway leading to an open trapdoor, big enough for an ordinary sized person to squeeze into. It must have been extremely well camouflaged, for during the day when it was closed, it had blended perfectly with the rest of the ground. Keitaro heard rumours of the secret locations that inhabit Hinata Sou, but he waved them off as nothing more than idle rumour and fairytales. Boy, was he proven wrong.

Keitaro watched as Mecha-Tama disappeared into the trapdoor. Having made it this far, Keitaro threw the remainder of his caution to the wind… and played follow the leader once again.

**-0-0-**

Taking a much needed deep breath, Keitaro carefully climbed down into the underground. He checked out the surroundings once he reached the bottom. Amongst the rubble and the vegetation… there was but a single tunnel heading north. Unfortunately the tunnel was too narrow to simply walk into, so Keitaro had to get on his hands and knees if he wanted to venture through it. Still, he made it this far…

…

He felt his hands and knees becoming increasingly dirty, thanks to the hard ground and gravel that inhabit this tunnel. The tunnel did twist and turn, but at least there were no traps waiting for him. He did however, wonder _what _was waiting for him, when, or indeed if he ever reached the end.

At last the tunnel fanned out into a small muddy room with a wooden door. Behind it he heard numerous noises of machinery. Cautiously he opened the door which led to a second room. The whole 'low creaking noise' thing reminded him of an old horror movie.

Perhaps the sight wasn't as shocking as seeing Haruka in her birthday suit… but nonetheless, it did make Keitaro take a step back to properly see what was going on.

The second room was much larger than the first. In fact, it was almost the same size as the Hinata living room. The floor, wall and ceiling were all fixed together with navy blue tiles. At least half a dozen Mecha-Tamas were patrolling all over the place. The Mecha-Tama which Keitaro chased moments ago was being recharged by some sort of hand held device. The room itself was partially filled with red, blue and grey wires, some of them tangled up into piles impossible to untie. There were lots of modern looking tables which, on top, were all sorts of machinery complete and incomplete.

However, two certain pieces of equipment… not to mention a certain somebody… all demanded the spotlight.

In the furthermost corner of the room stood a colossus, cylindrical shaped machine with rusty robotic like tentacles sprouting all over the place. In the centre of its grey body was a round, analogue clock, bashed together with nails and aided with large chunks of beige sticky tape. Below the clock was a small screen which displayed the number seventy five in red digits. Scattered around the clock were many small green and red buttons.

The second item was a monitor screen taking up half the wall by itself! The screen was unnaturally vast in size, and was completely filled with a mishmash of numbers and symbols. Looking at it would baffle even the most battle hardened of computer geeks… but of course to a certain somebody, it all made perfect sense. She was even typing a few extra lines with her super high-tech keyboard.

"K-Kaolla-chan…" Keitaro said slowly, as he took in all the wondrous and chaotic sights and sounds. "What… what is all of this?"

Grinning, Kaolla, dressed in a lab coat over her usual attire, spun from her swivel chair in order to face the befuddled manager. It was true that her technological jungle bedroom was impressive to say the least, but this room… was the hub and foundation of Kaolla's latest masterpieces. Only the greatest and craziest of machines inhabit this secret area.

"Aw! Looks like you found me!" she playfully pouted, "Took you long enough!"

…

…

_Author: Yui, Temaru and Tanya are all original characters (though I'm sure you already guessed that)._

_And Kaolla reveals all in the next chapter…_


End file.
